


Sublimation

by leelhiette



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: A little angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, CCG Kaneki, Friendship, Gen, Ghoul Investigator Kaneki, Will become darker in themes, possible tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3282401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leelhiette/pseuds/leelhiette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Before Anteiku did, others got to Kaneki first. [One where the CCG were immediately notified of Kanou and Kaneki's possible artificial hybrid nature.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. End of Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I finally get to post my works here after waiting for the maintenance to be over! And I just received my invitation a while ago and am so happy am sobbing. Anyways, yes, it's me Leelhiette from FFnet. And I want to post my stories in this site too as my heart has been captured by the great works here. Mostly, I'll post Tokyo Ghoul and its crossovers. When I have the time, I'll post my KHR, its crossovers, and Harry Potter ones too.
> 
> I've had this idea for a while and I haven't really seen it yet get done so, I thought, might as well start the trend. Be warned that there will be possibly Anteiku vs Kaneki as it is his job as a ghoul investigator. But, that might take a while and several chapters away, don't worry. This will be about him as a worker at the CCG, how he copes, interactions, and how it diverges from Canon from there. Have questions, PM me. I'll gladly answer.

 

* * *

"As you can see, Amon-kun, this is quite a peculiar case in our hands." Mado Kureo grinned slyly as he idly caressed his chin in a thoughtful manner. "You see, Kanou is extremely careful in his trails these past few years. A very cunning individual, I may say. The CCG has been keeping an eye on him, as one of its former coroners in the research department. To perform a transplant that called in a few moral ethics into question had required us to investigate this matter." He informed the young man walking beside him.

For his part, Amon Koutarou looked at his superior with a bit of confusion.

"Does it really? I mean, as a doctor himself, haven't he just chosen to save a life that can still be saved?" He asked his mentor as he bit his lip, thinking about the news about the accident between a teenage boy and girl, possibly a couple.

"Not if the "dead" person the organs were from happened to be, perhaps, a ghoul." Mado's grin, if possible, widened at this with a hint of gleeful malice.

Amon stopped in his tracks. So did Mado.

"A-A ghoul?" He croaked out faintly, face paling as the implications of that action began to set in.

"Yes," The white haired man confirmed readily, a slight lisp in his wording. "At first, it didn't seem that obvious. Investigations about the infamous Binge Eater, however, brought to light a few suspicions. Most of 'her' victims happened to be young males these past few months. Just the same age range of the young man involved in the accident. Now, certain investigators had gone back to examine the scene further as to prove that the "deceased" girl was indeed dead upon impact. Imagine the uproar when they discovered that the same fluids that Binge Eater left in her excursions matched the ones found in that tragic scene."

"And, as CCG's former coroner, Kanou couldn't deny that he hadn't known that the girl was a ghoul…" Amon weakly concluded, feeling a bit sick.

"You got it in one, Amon-kun!" Mado praised him brightly before his face fell with obvious disappointment. "Though, unfortunately, Kanou has already disappeared from the grid before the CCG can apprehend him. Along with that girl's "corpse" if she is even really dead in the first place. As for why we are currently in the hospital, we are going to fetch the young man who've gotten the transplanted organs." He hummed at this as they ascended the staircase.

"What happens to him?" The dark haired man immediately questioned as he straightened. "He's only a victim of circumstance. We don't know yet the possible effects of having ghoul organs placed in his body. What does the CCG plan to do with him?" He couldn't help but feel uneasy as the inquiries poured out of his mouth.

"As you said, we don't know the possible effects so the agency are going to find out." Mado waved off nonchalantly as a calculating gleam entered his eyes. "As for what happens to him, only the higher-ups get to decide his fate, I'm sorry to say. He's very unfortunate, to say the least." There wasn't any sympathy in his words but there was definitely contemplation in his tone that told Amon that the man was curious about this unknown young man's fate.

Amon kept his conflicting thoughts to himself.

As they reached the second floor, Amon followed after his superior who confidently strode down the corridors with purpose in his steps. Nurses and some of the patients paused to look at them and he knew that it was either due to the signature trench coats or the briefcases in their hands that signaled their professions as ghoul investigators. To be honest, it unnerved him a little but he kept firm to hold it in.

They reached the room by the end of the hallway and Amon blinked as he saw two police officers safe-guarding the door.

One of them nodded to Mado and said man just let himself in without batting an eyelash.

Amon gave an awkward bow to the two officers before hurrying after Mado. What greeted them was a bare hospital room with no windows, an empty bed, and an untouched tray of food on it. At first, he was alarmed and even thought that the young man might have possibly escaped. Though, his attention shifted towards his superior who calmly advanced on the other side of the hospital bed by the corner of the wall.

Following, Amon froze in his tracks as he saw the small body of a young dark haired teen curled up on the floor as he compressed himself to that corner of the wall while hugging his knees to his chest.

"Isn't it cold down there, young man?" Mado questioned curiously as he tilted his head.

"H-Huh?" The teen's head snapped up to them and stared at them with wide grey eyes.

Amon's uneasiness grew upon finally seeing the other. This kid was _too young_ to even think of shouldering the responsibilities that was going to be, no doubt, forced upon him. Just because a doctor decided that it was fine to transplant a ghoul's organs into him. Seeing the quivering grey eyes, Amon could see the fear and terror whirling in his gaze. As he caught sight of the briefcases in their hands, however, he started trembling violently, face ashen.

"It's alright," The words were out of his mouth before he could think better on them and Amon felt Mado's eyes on him. "We're just here to take you to CCG to see what we can do about your situation." He found himself reassuring the teen that he had yet to know the name as he crouched in front of him.

"Y-You're not here to kill me?" A small voice questioned and Amon felt dread in his stomach at those words.

"Of course not!" Mado stepped in as he eyed the teen a bit shrewdly and the other flinched at his voice. "That is, needless to say, unless you give us a reason to." He grinned widely at the teen who hunched in on himself at the words.

As much as Amon would like to deny the other's words, he knew without a doubt just what the CCG was truly capable of.

To his surprise, the teen continued to speak and avoided their gaze.

"I-I can't eat food like I use to," He admitted shakily as he covered his mouth with a trembling hand. "Miso soup tastes like used engine oil, tofu seems to have a terrible texture like solidified animal fat, and white rice sticks like glue to my mouth. _I can't stomach it_. They're disgusting." A tear slid down his cheek from his left eye but he merely angrily wiped it with the back of his hand, refusing to look at them.

Amon looked at Mado for guidance but only found the man staring intently at the teen.

He watched as the man crouched beside him. Mado pulled the sleeve of his coat up and revealed his bare forearm. Then, he brought out a pen from his pocket and calmly scratched the skin with the endpoint just deep enough until it bled. He yelped in panic at the other's actions, though, his eyes swiveled to the now sniffing teen. The kid was staring fixatedly on the blood sluggishly pooling on Mado's skin.

And he was _drooling_.

To their shock, his left eye turned into a ghoul's signature kakugan while his right eye remained normal. He raised a hand as if to reach for Mado's arm before his other hand grabbed it and trapped it into his chest, crying out in alarm.

"N-No…" The teen sobbed brokenly, openly weeping in front of them.

"Thought so," Mado coolly stated as he brought out a handkerchief and methodically wiped the blood away before fixing his sleeve back into place. "The first time I heard about the transplant and a ghoul's involvement, I had my hunch." The man disclosed to them as he stood up.

"I-I can't—" The other choked out.

Amon stared at the other with wide eyes as he instantly stood on his feet, posture defensive.

"Do not fret, Amon-kun." Mado assured him by patting his shoulder. "This young man is basically defenseless and we are _armed_ investigators. But, I also have another hunch that he will rather kill himself than give in into his instincts." At this, the white haired man winked at him.

"I-If you say so, Mado-san." Amon stumbled over his words, trusting his superior.

Though, what could this possibly mean for the teen who was now obviously more ghoul than human?

He didn't know how to judge such an existence.

**~o~**

Kaneki Ken was terrified.

For one, the second day after he woke up, he was suddenly isolated to another room in the hospital. Worse, it was totally closed off with no windows and only one exit. One which was heavily guarded by two policemen. Another concern had been that he couldn't seem to stomach any food since the accident. A nagging suspicion formed at the back of his mind but he just couldn't seem to grasp it. Still, hungry and confused, he was left in his room. _Alone_.

He hated it.

While he didn't know for certain, he thought that it was about what happened back at the construction site. Well, he was close. It wasn't until three days after that a representative from the Commission of Counter Ghoul or the CCG talked to him and things became clearer to him, so to speak. Kaneki hadn't remembered the man's name or what they'd talk about entirely but that was probably because the shock and horror were more prominent in his memory.

They had known after all.

Rize was a ghoul and the CCG, the agency of ghoul investigators, had discovered about the transplant.

To make matters worse than they already were, Kanou had apparently known what he had done.

Suddenly, his lack of appetite for food these past few days was beginning to make sense. One that he absolutely refused to acknowledge as he stayed cooped up in his hospital room or was it a make-shift cell? He didn't know. Sleepless nights accompanied him since that visit and he spent most of his time curled on the floor than on the bed, finding no comfort in anything as the frightening truth threatened to swallow him whole.

Though, he was only reminded that he was going to be escorted to the 1st Ward, where the CCG main office and laboratory division were located, when two investigators had arrived to supposedly escort him. He remembered paling at the sight of those briefcases. While he initially knew next to nothing about ghoul investigators, the representative had went on and told him about how it was the agency's job to preserve peace and eradicate ghouls. A reason why his involvement with Rize, who was also known by the alias of "Binge Eater" due to her excessive appetite, had caught the CCG's attention.

One method of eradication was enclosed in those briefcases. Something that the man had been vague about.

Still, it wasn't like Kaneki wanted to find out either.

His fears came true when the white haired man had exposed blood to him. He simply reacted. It might have been due to anxiety and terror and hunger coiling within him but he had easily succumbed to the saccharine aroma it had enchanted him with. It wasn't until he was reaching for the _human flesh_ that he realized his mistake. He could even feel saliva flooding his mouth just at the thought of tasting that red salvation.

It was true. He became a monster after all.

Kaneki tried not to think about how the nice man who had initially assured him was now skittish towards him as they pulled him to a white van located by the back of the hospital. The two policemen who had looked after him didn't say a word but they did give him nods of farewell.

"T-They'll kill me, won't they?" He murmured as he found himself beside the white haired man who had no qualms about being near him.

The dark haired man on his right shifted a bit, as if in discomfort, while the driver of the van remained silent on the matter.

"What's your favorite food?" The white haired man asked instead.

"W-What?" He stammered out, caught off guard as he looked at the old investigator in surprise.

"I happen to have a liking to curry," The other stated instead as he smiled widely, looking quite odd and malicious on his sunken face. "Particularly, I prefer the spicy ones. Though, Amon-kun prefers the mild ones." He shook his head in disappointment at this while the man, Amon, looked a bit embarrassed.

"Mado-san…" Amon sighed a bit exasperatedly as if it was an old argument between them.

"Now that I think about it, I still don't know your name yet." Mado declared thoughtfully as he stared at a bewildered Kaneki expectantly.

For his part, he was a bit stupefied.

"Kaneki Ken." He murmured quietly as he stared at his lap intently, avoiding their eyes, afraid of what he would see.

"Well, Kaneki-kun, my name is Mado Kureo and this young man here is my partner, Amon Koutarou." He waved a gloved hand a bit wildly as he introduced themselves and Kaneki only caught the gesture because Mado had purposely done it to get his undivided attention. Or, at least, that was what Kaneki assumed as Mado only continued when he met the man's eyes. "Now, how about answering the question then?" His eyes were calculating no matter how friendly he suddenly seemed.

 _Is he mocking me?_ Kaneki couldn't help but wonder.

"I-I like hamburger steak." He answered timidly, averting his eyes as he wrung his hands.

"Any significance?" Mado pushed with slightly widened eyes.

It might have been the pressure itself coming from the man but Kaneki found himself answering despite his inhibitions.

"My mother used to make them when I was young." He answered quietly as he clenched his hands on his lap, a little unnerved now that he had told the man something so personal. Something that even Hide hadn't managed to make him do in their first months of acquaintance.

"So, she's dead, huh?" The man mused, an odd tone to his voice while Kaneki stiffened. "How did she die?" He continued persistently.

"I think that's enough, Mado-san—" Amon cut in a bit adamantly.

"Hush, Amon-kun." Mado shook the other off as his eyes remained fixated on the teen. "I want to hear his answer."

For a moment, Kaneki was silent.

Why was _this_ being brought up now?

He closed his eyes as he thought of his mother. It had been a long time, hadn't it? When was actually the last time since he had visited her grave? After he had moved out of his aunt's house, he had been so busy with moving on, fixing his new apartment and college that he hardly had the time to do so. Though, a voice in his head snidely reminded him that even with all that he still found the time to date Rize.

What kind of son was he?

"Overworking." He forced out as he opened his eyes, voice a whisper as he tried not to think of her slack features—

"You feel pain, don't you?" Mado questioned him as the man finally put his gaze forward while Kaneki stared at him with a frown, feeling a little affronted. "At that simple memory of your mother, you felt pain and it's written all over your face. That tells me that there's still humanity left in you. Nothing like the ghouls I've killed. That pain is _real_. For me, that's more than enough, wouldn't you say?" A toothy grin stretched widely on his lips.

There was a stunned silence in the whole van.

Though, while it was unnerving to be indirectly told that ghouls didn't care for such bonds and might even be able to feign emotion ( _Rize had shown that clearly, hadn't she? What a fool he had been)_ , Kaneki felt heartened.

He'd hold on to what little he had left.

**~o~**

"So, Kaneki-kun." His interrogator, so to speak, was an easy-going man that went by the name of Shinohara Yukinori. "Before all this has happened, you are a literature student of Kamii University. I hope that those books were to your liking. We've tried contacting a living relative and, I have to say, that isn't the kind of reception one will give when they discover that their nephew's been involved in an accident." The man smiled wryly at this with a sharp shake of his head.

Kaneki remained silent as he ignored that indirect jab at his aunt. While he was surprised that they had bothered to do so at all, that was nothing new.

The man cleared his throat and the teen unconsciously straightened.

"I-I'm sorry." Kaneki apologized sheepishly and noticed that the man was still talking. "You were saying?" He amended as he tried not let his nervousness to control him.

Shinohara chuckled in obvious amusement.

"You're very polite," He hummed in an easy-going manner. "Well, it says in your profile that your RC levels are prone to fluctuations. In fact, the first time that you've been brought to the main office, Mado told me that you've been able to pass the RC scan gates. At this point, they are below a thousand, still high for a human, and they rise when your, uh, ghoul characteristics make an appearance. Doctor Chigyou has already briefed you in this, hasn't he?" The man stated as he sifted through the folders and documents in front of him.

"Yes." Kaneki answered quietly as he tried not to cringe at his experience back at the laboratory division.

So far, he'd been fed the way the CCG kept their ghoul prisoners alive in the 23rd Ward, according to Chigyou. He didn't want to think about what they had fed him. Or what that could exactly mean for him to be treated the same way as their prisoners. Still, before that, they had gotten blood samples from him and even connected him to machines to monitor his RC cell count. In fact, the doctor had said that the moment his kakugan had activated upon "feeding", his RC levels had risen to a drastic level above 2000.

That was _ghoul_ level.

It's been a week since he was brought to the main office. While he was technically 'imprisoned', so to speak, they still gave him some leisure in the form of books and television. Though, the agency had been adamant about not letting him near any phone or anything that could enable him to contact anyone. He could certainly use it to assure Hide that he was fine. The other was certainly worrying over him by now. Though, would he really want to involve Hide in all this mess?

Every day in his room, Shinohara would be the one to always talk to and question him. It became obvious why when he discovered that the man was the most pleasant person he had encountered so far in all his years that wasn't his mother or Hide. He didn't look down on Kaneki or even gave him a glare of suspicion like some of the investigators he had encountered in the laboratory division who had come there for maintenance of their "quinque", something that he was still unknowledgeable in.

"It took a while but Chairman Washuu finally gave his consent as to what to do with you." At these words, Shinohara straightened and stared at Kaneki intently. "You're given two options by this point. First, you can be brought to Kokuria as another "ghoul" prisoner. You'll be fed and kept locked in there but you'll live. The second is—" He paused at this and stared at a very still Kaneki with searching eyes. "You can become a _ghoul investigator_."

His world came to an abrupt halt.

"G-Ghoul Investigator?" He croaked out anxiously. " _Me_? But, how can that be, after all, I'm—" He fretted a bit, biting his lip in indecision.

"It's fine," Shinohara put in gently, expression softening. "The Chairman, of course, has taken this into account and even the Bureau Director has given his approval for this project." The man assured him as he pushed a document on the table towards Kaneki.

 _Project, is it?_ He couldn't help but muse to himself a little bitterly. Was this really the same to be treated as a human?

He read the document and it detailed his transfer should he accept. Though, his eyes widened as he read the privileges listed there that had been, apparently, allowed to him. One was that he was going to be given an apartment of his own near the CCG, one that would be near his would-be superior's. Apparently, it was tradition to work in pairs— one veteran and one rookie to establish a more workable learning experience. He had his own salary, his supplies and uniform would be provided by the agency, and even permitted a certain freedom within specific conditions.

Even his food would be provided to him. Though, it was more of a precaution so he wouldn't kill anyone, he knew.

But, for someone like him, that was already more than he could ask for.

Still, if there were privileges, then there were certainly limitations as well. And, to him, that was a quite a lot. Though, it had more to do with his nature than him personally. One thing that caught his eye was that he was going to be put as a Rank 3 Investigator after this under someone's leadership. He was required to learn how to fight as an investigator and that partner would also be the one responsible in educating him more about the CCG's duties and responsibilities. If he ever considered fighting with his "kagune", a ghoul's primary weapon, then the Special Class Investigators would monitor his training in order to ensure that he would put it to right use.

Fighting. That was something he really needed to think about. If he accepted, would he really be ready to fight and possibly kill someone regardless of being ghouls?

He didn't know.

Yet, it was still better than be put to prison and wonder how the world was moving on without him.

"C-Can I think about it first?" He eventually asked a bit weakly as he felt too overwhelmed.

"Take your time, for now, I'll need your answer by tomorrow." Shinohara said as he stood up with a wide smile. "Though, a piece of advice, while it isn't easy to be an investigator and it will be certainly reckless if you have agreed immediately, I will tell you to choose the second option. It's certainly better than the first, in my opinion. I believe that you're only a victim and the CCG is giving you this opportunity as a second chance. You're a good kid, Kaneki-kun. Just think about it." The man winked as he gathered his files.

"T-Thank you, Shinohara-san." He stood up as well and bowed. "I'll give your words some thought." He smiled sadly.

To his surprise, the man reached out and ruffled his hair.

"If you accept, I'll even introduce you to my partner." Shinohara told him good-naturedly. "He's a bit… odd but you're the same age. I'm sure you'll get along." He mused encouragingly as he laughed, probably thinking about said partner.

"I don't even know how to fight." Kaneki admitted as he lowered his gaze. "I'm not even athletic in the first place." He further went on and felt his cheeks flame in shame.

To be honest, this was another concern that held him back. If he couldn't fight, would the CCG dispose—

He didn't want to think about it.

"Whoever the Director assigns to you, I'm certain that you'll learn from them." Shinohara had been quick to assure him, something that Kaneki appreciated. "Though, I have no idea whom they have in mind but you're going to have to adapt. With how you are… physiologically right now, I'm sure the transition might not be as hard as you think." At this admission, something flickered in Shinohara's gaze that unnerved the teen slightly.

Kaneki didn't deign to respond to that statement.

What was he supposed to say to that? That his body had apparently grown sturdier due to the influence of his ghoul nature? That was absurd. He didn't want this. Any of this. But, he was being given the option. Were they really options in the first place? It didn't feel like it. Cornered would be the right term.

Be locked up or fight.

Somehow, the choice had already been obvious.

**~o~**

"Kaneki-kun, right?" The dark haired man inquired kindly.

For his part, Kaneki simply nodded and tried not to fidget too much in his tailored suit. After signing the contract the next day, Shinohara had readily given him a set of formal wear— which consisted of black dress pants and shirt paired with a white tie and jacket— as if the man hadn't expected his decision to be anything but become an investigator. That thought should've been worrying but he didn't think that he still had the chance to back out on this.

When he'd been told that he was going to have a private meeting with the Bureau Director, Kaneki had honestly expected to meet a very imposing individual. Frightening, maybe. But certainly not a mild-mannered middle aged man who didn't have any malice written over him. They were currently in the man's office and situated by the couch near the bookshelves.

Subconsciously, he gently traced the black eyepatch covering his left eye.

This was what really brought him here in the first place, wasn't it?

"Your situation has caused quite the commotion within the agency." Washuu Yoshitoki revealed calmly as intertwined his hands on his lap. "According to Doctor Chigyou's latest analysis with the help of our best researchers, Kanou most likely hadn't done a kidney transplant to save your life. With how your body is currently adapting, it's been concluded that he, in all likelihood, transferred the ghoul's _kakuhou_ instead. You know what that is, right?" The man inquired as if to ensure that Kaneki was following the conversation.

"U-Uhm, that's the organ that ghouls use to store RC cells?" He answered uncertainly, barely remembering it from Chigyou's long winded explanations of ghoul evolution or biology.

"Yes, it's also the main component in the construction of quinque." Yoshitoki added matter-of-factly.

This time, Kaneki _did_ fidget in open discomfort.

Sensing this, the man blinked at him as if just realizing the possible effect of his words.

"Ah, I apologize, that is insensitive of me." Yoshitoki graciously apologized as he leaned forward to stare at Kaneki attentively. "Though, I have to ask, how are you fairing? I've been informed about your inability to consume human food. The last time the doctors had asked you to try again, you've shown a considerable negative reaction towards it." The man commented with a touch of curiosity and polite concern in his voice.

"They all taste disgusting to me. They make me feel sick." Kaneki responded quietly, clenching his hands, a bit distressed at the reminder. "To be honest, Washuu-san, I-I'm terrified about what I-I've become. I didn't ask any of this to happen. I'm sorry for inconveniencing you and the whole of CCG. Though, I'm also thankful that you're even giving me the chance to prove myself. I might not be able to do much but I promise to do my best." Kaneki suddenly became conscious of the fact that he had somehow lurched forward and was staring at the man a bit intensely.

Embarrassed, he leaned back and stammered incoherently as his ears reddened, unable to justify his sudden action.

"That is all we asked." The man gave him a small appreciative smile.

"So, about becoming an investigator…" Kaneki started, eager to shift to a new subject and one that he was very much invested in.

"Ah, yes." The man nodded to him as if just waiting for the opening. "For now, while your nature as a half-ghoul isn't really a kept secret within the agency, it isn't largely advertised either. There are reasons for this. One of them being that the one who was responsible for this is a former coroner of the CCG. Another is that while it is known that you have been merely a victim of a cruel experiment, it still doesn't negate the fact that you are considered a ghoul by this point. We have to take certain precautions and measures regarding this. I'm certain that it was stated in the contract,"

At that, Kaneki couldn't find the strength to meet the man's gaze.

_At the unavoidable event that you lose control of your ghoul aspect, the CCG is tasked with the right to regard you as a ghoul and eliminate you on the spot at the off chance that you become a risk to those around you. With this in mind, we will do our utmost to calm you down at this event. If the worse occurs, it will be our duty to exterminate you._

That had been written by the very end of the contract. It had been clearly designed for him. Still, he had stayed awake the whole night mulling over those words and what it could really mean for him if he accepted. As time passed and morning finally came, he mused that it couldn't be so bad. That meant that at the occasion that he was indeed killed by the CCG, it would only indicate that he had indeed lost his humanity.

What a painful way to die. But something that he needed, he also realized. They could certify that he wouldn't kill any humans.

His first whiff of blood and how he had tried to reach for Mado's flesh still haunted him.

"It is." He confirmed with a small nod. "I've also decided to quit college." He revealed as he finally looked at the man.

"That is a big decision to be suddenly making," Yoshitoki remarked as something that was almost sadness shined in his gaze. "Though, while it is commendable, the CCG isn't forbidding you to quit the life that you have going on for you. I know that we are asking a lot out of you considering that you have been merely brought into this without your discretion." The man lightly told him, voice pacifying.

But, Kaneki just shook his head.

"I've also thought about it before signing the contract." Kaneki countered tiredly. "We both know that I can't become an investigator, at least not the one that the contract has specified, while I'm still going to University for my major. I have to give up one of the two and one of them isn't an option. Aside from one friend and college, I don't really have much going on for me. And I refuse to involve Hi— him in all this mess." He exhaled sharply at the reminder of his best friend.

"It is your decision in the end." Yoshitoki conceded to him.

 _Is it really?_ He mused forlornly.

"Thank you very much." Kaneki gave a small bow of his head in a show of gratitude.

"For now, though, since the Chairman has given me the jurisdiction, I'm assigning Ui Koori as your partner for the time being." The Bureau Director finally revealed as he picked up a folder on the low table between them and handed it to the dark haired teen. "He's an exceptional Associate Special Class Investigator and is currently in charge of the 4th Ward. I've already informed him beforehand and he will be in charge of inducting you more appropriately in the field. Since he also has his own duties, you will be formally placed under Arima Kishou's squad and be deployed to work with others to help you accumulate the necessary experience, if needed be." Yoshitoki explained to him, precise and to the point.

"I-If it isn't an inconvenience to him, then I-I will gladly accept." Kaneki stumbled over his words, now recognizing just what he had agreed to in the first place.

The despondent line in Yoshitoki's smile told him as much.

* * *

"End of Dawn" (1)

* * *

 


	2. Road of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki is trying to adjust to his new life. And meets people along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really shouldn't be posting this but some people have been asking me if I will take that long. Am so glad that this fic received such a great reception. As I've stated, I've already gotten the drafts finished for my stories' next chapters. It was just that I finished this one the fastest. I've managed to squeeze in some time due to that inspirational message from a friend who wanted to see the next chapter.
> 
> Thank you very much. But, really, I really shouldn't be posting it this early but since I've got the time while some things managed to calm down for a while, I might as well give it. Thank you for your support for this idea. Am overwhelmed. Am so glad that many people like this. Please tell me your thoughts about this.

* * *

 

This was the day.

"So, you're Kaneki?" The rather androgynous-looking young man spoke and stared at him curiously. Like all investigators, he was dressed in a formal suit and his dark hair was styled in a short bob. While his appearance suggested something delicate with his slender frame and slightly shorter stature, Kaneki knew that looks could be deceiving. After all, the Bureau Director had personally praised this individual and he also couldn't overlook the fact that this person was an Associate Special Class.

"H-Hai!" He answered affirmatively as he squared his shoulders. "K-Kaneki Ken, R-Rank 3 Investigator. I'll be in your care, Associate Special Class Ui!" He bowed formally and inwardly berated himself for stuttering due to nervousness.

Though, he guessed that he had to get used to the fact that he had to include his "rank" when introducing himself.

As he straightened from his bow, he tried not to fidget at the amused look being directed at him.

It had already been three days since his conversation with Washuu Yoshitoki and it had only been yesterday since he'd moved to his new apartment located just near the main office at the 1st Ward. The place was still too bare and it honestly felt empty. No matter how much he thought that it was where he was going to be living from now on, Kaneki couldn't help but just look at it through detached eyes.

And it clawed at Kaneki during quiet moments so he forced himself to focus on his new task instead.

"How formal of you." The man, Ui Koori, smiled at him. "Since we're going to be partners, I'll allow you the privilege of addressing me as simply 'Koori'." He continued thoughtfully as he visibly appraised Kaneki with sharp eyes.

"T-Thank you very much, K-Koori-san." Kaneki responded a bit meekly, trying not to be intimidated.

"I've been informed about your situation, Kaneki." The other informed him as he took a single step forward to look closely at him. They were currently in the longue located near the lobby of the main office. "I've got to say, you're not what I've been expecting. Still, I haven't really properly introduced myself, have I? Even if you already seem to know my name from the director. My name is Ui Koori, Associate Special Class Investigator. It's a pleasure to meet you, Kaneki Ken." Koori then extended a hand towards him.

Kaneki anxiously held the other's hand for a surprisingly firm handshake.

"Likewise." He breathed out slowly as he said this, trying to quell in his uneasiness.

As he let go, the man suddenly grinned.

"Eh, you're so nervous that your hand is shaking." Koori remarked in glee, smirking lightly. "Oh man, I would've anticipated this if you're meeting Arima-san or even Take. Certainly not someone like me. Houji must be laughing at me somewhere." He snorted at this statement, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so.

"U-Uhm—" Kaneki stammered, not knowing what to say, as he clenched his hands to hide their, to his embarrassment, visible tremors.

Then, the man's expression smoothened into an easy-going smile.

"Relax, Kaneki. I don't bite." Koori pacified him as he walked up to the teen and patted his shoulder. "Well, we have to get going. The Director did tell you that I'm in charge of the 4th Ward, right? As my partner, you're required where I go. At the situation that I got held up by something, you're going to have to work with other people for your field involvement. I know that this arrangement is a bit confusing since you are, technically, my partner but I also have to take into account that you have no fighting experience prior to your… incident. Since the 4th Ward isn't as diverse as the other wards, the Director saw it fit to have you work with others as an official member of Arima-san's squad." The man informed him as he walked to the building's entrance.

Kaneki followed after the other closely, listening carefully to his words.

"So, I will be working with Arima-san and his squad?" He inquired bewilderedly as he tried to keep up with the explanation.

"Not necessarily. Since you only need field experience." Koori added matter-of-factly as he led the teen to a nearby white car. "Don't worry about it, though, it's only for formalities. You're going to work with others, in fact. It's the Chairman's idea in order to have you further integrated into our ranks. So, either expect to meet a lot of faces or be sent to different wards as an additional staff to investigations." He stared at Kaneki intently for a moment before getting into the driver's seat.

"I-I see." Kaneki answered quietly as he reluctantly slid into the front passenger seat.

"So," Koori started out conversationally as the man drove them to, presumably, the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office. "How did you meet _Binge_ _Eater_? I've got to say, that ghoul gave our investigators some trouble and she's been a menace for quite some time now." At this, he blew out a breath that sent his bangs fluttering.

"I—" The teen cleared his throat a bit self-consciously. "I went on a date with her." He replied hesitantly.

Looking back at that moment, he felt like a very stupid idiot. Hide had been right to call him delusional after all.

He forcefully pushed any thoughts of his best friend at the back of his mind.

Was it wrong for him to keep the other out of this? He still didn't know what he would say if he met the other. After all, for all Hide knew, Kaneki had just joined the CCG out of the blue and he couldn't even bring himself to admit as to why he had accepted in the first place.

Not without telling him the whole truth.

"You're kidding—" Koori cut himself off with a sharp shake of his head. "Wait, of course not. If you were, then, you wouldn't be in this situation right now, would you? That's a bit too much, in my opinion." He commented rather wryly.

At least, there was no judgment in his eyes as he uttered those words. For that, Kaneki was relieved.

"About fighting, uhm, Koori-san, I don't really have any experience." He fully admittedly and ignored the dwelling shame he felt for it, wanting to get this out of the way and slightly eager for a change of subject.

"None at all?" The man asked to be certain.

Kaneki shook his head.

"Well, when I read "no fighting experience" in your profile, I thought that it was about confronting ghouls or being put into life and death situations." Koori confessed to him with a frown. "Come to think of it, surviving your confrontation with a ghoul is already considered life-threatening on itself. Still, I wouldn't have thought it would be so literal. Haven't you gotten into a fistfight as a kid? Or even just a brawl? Know what it felt like to hit someone and _mean_ it?" The other inquired a bit persistently, his brow furrowing a bit.

Other than those instances when Kaneki had bashed Hide's head with a book when the other went too far with his teasing and stabbing Rize's kagune in desperation not to get killed, Kaneki couldn't recall a moment in his life where he'd actually hurt someone.

"I-I avoid fights as much as possible." He responded softly as he fiddled with his hands, a habit he had when nervous. "I don't like harming anyone."

Looking at Koori from the corner of his eye and the way the man's lips had thinned, the other had just bitten back a question from surfacing. It didn't need to be said but Kaneki knew what the other wanted to ask him.

_Why had he decided to become an investigator, then?_

Even he didn't really know the answer to that. He wasn't exactly given a choice, was he? In fact, Koori just said that the Chairman had even made sure that he would have to fight regardless.

"I'll train you." Koori's voice suddenly pierced the tense silence that seemed to permeate the atmosphere around them. "I'll train you so you won't die out there. Half-ghoul or not, I refuse to let anyone under my command to die without a fight." He declared strongly, hands tightening around the wheel.

"K-Koori-san—" The teen was speechless and openly stared at the other, wide-eyed.

"I'm just a coward, you see…" Koori said with a cynical touch to his smile. "And you, Kaneki Ken, _will fight_."

**~o~**

"Kaneki-kun!" A voice called out to him.

The dark haired teen whirled around and stared as a jovially waving Shinohara strode to where he stood. He adjusted his grip on the paper bag in his arms to shyly return it. He had just been on his way to his new apartment after a long day. Koori had briefed him merely about the operation of the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office which wasn't really all that different from what he had seen of the main office. Though, throughout the day, the young man had spoken about the duties expected of him as a ghoul investigator.

Aside from, obviously, slaying ghouls, they were required to conduct necessary investigations at the event of murders. While crime rate performed by humans were still at progress, it had been explained to him that some ghouls had learned to disguise their "hunt" as such to cover their trails. That was why they were required at the scene at the off-chance that the suspect was a ghoul and it would then be their task to uncover their identities and exterminate them. Some were, apparently, not even trying to hide the fact that the murder was performed by a ghoul.

It had been explained to him that they were predominantly employed at the main office but were put in charge of many investigations. As with Koori's case though, the man had been tasked to maintain the peace that had been kept at the 4th Ward. Apparently, the 1st up to 4th Wards were the wards with the least population of ghouls. Which was understandable considering that the CCG chiefly operated within them. It also explained why Koori had told him that it wasn't "diverse" enough to earn him his field experience as simply Koori's partner.

Still, as this was brought up, Koori had given him a schedule, starting tomorrow, for his training.

It was the reason why he'd been to a bookstore earlier. He had bought some books about martial arts in order to understand the aspects of combat. While he still felt uneasy at the mere idea, he knew that he would need it if he didn't want to die when he had to confront a ghoul. He felt that he had to do his part since Koori was already helping him.

"How's your first day?" Shinohara asked him good-naturedly and his eyes shone with genuine interest as he stood before the teen.

Despite himself, Kaneki found himself smiling.

"It went fine," He answered honestly. "Koori-san is very considerate." Ha admitted a bit bashfully.

"Oh, yes," The man smiled a bit nostalgically. "Though, he can be quite the uptight fellow when work is a bit serious. Or quite intense if he's in the middle of a fight." He laughed a bit and missed the way Kaneki subtly cringed at the latter statement.

"Erm…" He scratched his cheek in slight discomfort.

"So, what were you up to?" Shinohara inquired as he peered at the paper bag in Kaneki's hands.

"I just bought some books from the bookstore." The teen answered vaguely, feeling his cheeks heat up a bit, as his hold on said item tightened.

"Oh, I see. It's about fighting, am I right?" The other questioned a bit knowingly.

Kaneki became flustered.

"Maybe." He tried to continue with his ambiguous approach as he cradled his chin with his left hand.

"I know it's a little overwhelming, being pushed into this all of a sudden." Shinohara remarked with a soft smile. "But, if you need anything, you can come and talk to me, alright?" He offered kindly, sincere concern showing in his expression that spoke of his sincerity.

Kaneki stared at him with wide eyes.

"T-Thank you very much." He mumbled a bit uncertainly, hardly believing the words but was touched all the same.

Before Shinohara could speak again, another voice cut in.

"Shinohara-san~!" Someone called out in a rather sing-song manner and the dark haired teen tilted a bit to the side in order to view the newcomer who had addressed the man. In doing so, he was faced by a white haired teen skipping his way to them, waving his arms rather dramatically. He was dressed in what seemed to be an oversized suit jacket and a rather disheveled attire to match it together with light-colored slippers. When he got a closer look, he almost mistook the other as a girl but Kaneki just knew that it wasn't the case.

For his part, Shinohara noticeably brightened.

"Ah, Juuzou!" He greeted the small teen as the other bounded up to them, though, his expression suddenly scrunched up. "I thought you went ahead to wait for me at that ramen shop?" The man asked the teen who tilted his head.

"Eh? But it's so boring having to just wait so I've thought of finding you instead." Juuzou shrugged before his large eyes landed on Kaneki who froze at the sudden attention. "Wah, who is this, Shinohara-san?" He grinned as he boldly walked up to the slightly intimidated dark haired teen, openly staring at him with vague interest while Kaneki tried not to gawk at the stitches on his face and down the column of the other's neck.

"This is Kaneki Ken, a newly made investigator." Shinohara easily introduced him before turning to him with a wary smile. "And, Kaneki-kun, this is the partner that I've been talking about. His name is Suzuya Juuzou and he's also a Rank 3."

At those words, he found himself staring back at the white haired teen. He had heard snippets of Shinohara's partner from some of the investigators that he'd encountered at the headquarters and none of them favorable. But, Shinohara didn't seem to mind him—

"H-Hi?" Kaneki attempted at conversation and found himself taking a step back when the other's face became too close for comfort, a clear disregard for personal space.

Suddenly, he jolted as something hit him.

He looked at Juuzou with a wide eye, feeling the vestiges of shock, as he finally registered what had possibly brought him to such a stupor. Somehow, this guy had a "delectable" scent and he had just noticed it as he got a direct whiff of him. He ignored the strong urge to cover his nose as he felt his palms perspire in a sudden bout of anxiety. At least, he wasn't drooling and he didn't feel his eye turning. But, the last time he'd gotten a good smell of something that appealed to him, it didn't really mean well for him.

"Juuzou…" Shinohara called out exasperatedly.

"You seem different." Juuzou commented rather curiously, obviously having noticed his reaction.

"Thanks?" Kaneki took another step back as he held his breath.

Unfortunately for him, the white haired teen just matched him step for step. His wide eyes staring at Kaneki intently. Those unnerved him, to be honest, but not more so than the fact that he didn't appreciate the fact that this person's aroma was a bit tempting. While he felt no urge to taste the other, like that close call with Mado, he didn't want to risk any chances. Though, the other didn't seem to share his sentiment.

Before he could react, the other had quickly hooked a finger around the string of his eyepatch and proceeded to yank it off his head.

"Hey!" He yelped as he let go of the paper bag in his hands, spilling his books, and attempted to snatch it back only for Juuzou to hum and lightly dance out of his reach. He made another swipe for it only for the other to easily dodge his attempts of catching him.

"Juuzou, please return that to Kaneki-kun." Shinohara sighed as he rubbed a hand over his suddenly weary face.

"But why does he even need this in the first place?" Juuzou skipped to the man as he rubbed a stitch mark at the corner of his mouth with a finger. "From what I can see, his left eye's just fine. Is this a new fashion I'm not aware of?" He contemplated before turning to Shinohara with an eager face. "Then, I want one too, Shinohara-san! Does it look good on me?" He danced around as he wore the eyepatch, clearly enjoying this.

Though, he stopped when Kaneki's hand landed on his shoulder.

"Please, give that back." Kaneki's soft voice pleaded as he covered his left eye with a hand, not yet comfortable with having it exposed when he couldn't control his eye yet.

"Okay," Juuzou agreed rather easily. "But lay off that hand first, pal, before I break it for you." The teen warned him nonchalantly but something in his expression, in his eyes, told Kaneki that he wasn't kidding.

"Why do you have to be so difficult…?" Shinohara groaned and moved forward to, no doubt, intervene. Though, it wasn't needed.

Obediently, Kaneki let go.

Just as he promised, the white haired teen removed the eyepatch and carelessly tossed it to Kaneki who instantly donned it.

"Whatever, I like seeing with two eyes anyway." Juuzou mumbled as he stared at the dark haired teen contemplatively. "And, you, eyepatch, owe me a bowl of ice cream." He declared rather demandingly.

 _Shouldn't it be the other way around?_ He complained to himself. _And, eyepatch? What's up with this guy…?_

Not wanting to get into a conflict with a co-worker so early on, Kaneki sighed in defeat as he picked up his books.

"O-Okay," He answered hesitantly, inwardly praying that he hadn't made a mistake.

Focused as he was on his task, he failed to see Juuzou's slight intrigue at his rather agreeable answer. Though, he was certainly flabbergasted when a book was thrust rather unceremoniously onto his face and looked up to see Juuzou handing it back with an eerily wide smile. Not wanting to bring up how he had just been casually threatened a while ago, Kaneki wordlessly accepted it with a small uncertain but grateful smile as he stood up.

"This is going to end badly, isn't it?" Shinohara mused aloud as he stared at the two teens.

**~o~**

"Your back's too tense!" Koori barked as he stepped back from the swing of Kaneki's fist. "Your balance is a bit off. Try not to lose your ground. And you're hits lack power. Are you really _trying_?" He demanded as he gave a retaliatory roundhouse kick that the teen barely managed to dodge, stumbling backwards as he did so.

 _I am,_ Kaneki answered inwardly, panting. _You're too fast._

He crossed his arms in front of him as another kick got him this time. Though, he underestimated the strength behind it and was sent flying backwards. Having already learned from their first day of "sparring" or what Kaneki dubbed as "moments he got beaten to the ground", he instantly rolled to his side in order to stand up, albeit wobbly, as soon as he landed on his back. It was a wise decision considering that, not a second later, Koori's foot made contact with where his head used to be just a moment ago. The sound was loud enough to echo in the training hall that told the teen he really didn't want to get hit by that.

Koori might look delicate but he packed a surprising amount of power. It honestly amazed and frightened Kaneki.

The first time he had merely stayed lying on the floor as the wind was knocked out of him, so to speak, his instructor hadn't been forgiving and delivered a powerful kick that might've broken a rib. Though, he wasn't certain considering that it had already healed. He didn't want to test it out either.

Flipping with his hands, Koori was instantly onto Kaneki once again. This time, he didn't instantly press his attack and waited for the teen to get his bearings. Kaneki took the chance and feigned a punch that Koori easily dodged. Though, the reaction was instantaneous. Koori instantly went to strike back with what seemed to be a painful jab to the solar plexus but Kaneki grabbed the older man's wrist the moment it was within reach, trying to be precise with his timing, as was stated in the book, before pivoting on his foot and tried to throw the other over his shoulder.

To his immense surprise, Koori simply used his own momentum against him by going with the motion in order to deliver a punishing kick towards his chin. It effectively made him stagger backwards as he landed on his posterior. The pain in his jaw and the unnatural click of his teeth made him let go of the man's hand the moment the kick connected.

His eyes were a bit hazy due to tears of pain but he saw the other land in a graceful roll before ceasing into a crouched position across from him.

"That's progress, I think." Koori remarked as he took a deep breath, standing up as he rolled his shoulder. "That's better than nothing, right? Considering that you don't even know how to punch properly in the beginning which still needs a major improvement. Another thing is that you _still_ have that lag between attacks. Hesitation won't really serve you well especially in a life-or-death situation. A split second might be the deciding factor." Koori reminded him as he wiped a bit of sweat from his face.

Unlike Kaneki who was wheezing on the floor. Though, the teen felt that familiar itch that signaled his healing. So, the other _did_ break his jaw. Damn it. That hurt. He had never been in this kind of pain (barring that incident with Rize) before in his life.

Koori was an unforgiving instructor. At least, he knew how to drill his lessons well. It was the excruciating kind that made it certain Kaneki wouldn't want to repeat a mistake again.

"Your reactions are getting a lot better. While your reflexes are improving, you still lack the intent behind attacking. You can't keep dodging or defending forever." Koori berated him with a frown as he crossed his arms over his chest. "That last attack might've worked if you have the power behind it to properly catch me off guard with that. And you should put that force on your shoulders and knees during its execution, the hand merely serves as a guide for that momentum. If your stance isn't firm, then it will be used against you as I've demonstrated." This time, wryness dripped from his every word.

"I-I'll keep that mind." Kaneki quietly responded as he massaged the dull ache in his jaw.

"Where did you learn that, anyway? All we've done so far are the basics. I don't recall ever showing or executing that on you." The man observed curiously as he stepped towards Kaneki and offered him a hand.

He accepted it gratefully as he stood up.

"I read it from a book." He admitted awkwardly and hastily went on to explain himself. "I-I've been reading on martial arts for some time now in order to understand it better. It's been just now that I've tried anything from it." He scratched the back of his head in discomfort.

Koori stared at him, deadpanned.

"You… read it from a _book_?" The man demanded a bit incredulously.

"Y-Yes?" Kaneki answered quietly, more uncertain than ever.

Koori looked as if he was about to say something before falling contemplative instead. He observed the teen intently before sighing and headed for the door. Kaneki, unable to decipher his mentor's thoughts, followed after him. Thankfully, they had merely changed out of their office attires and were dressed in plain shirt and sweatpants. He didn't think that he'd be able to stay comfortable in his own skin if he had to work the remaining hours with his clothing sticking to him like glue.

The moment they stepped out of the hall, there were two people waiting for them. More specifically, for Koori.

It was a rather nondescript-looking brunet man and a rather imposing impassive white haired man. Intimidated by their sudden presence, he shifted slightly behind his superior to avoid attention. It had the exact opposite result as their eyes immediately landed on him the moment he moved.

For his part, Koori seemed to be surprised. So, this wasn't a planned appointment.

"Take? Arima-san?" Koori voiced out with slight astonishment.

"Greetings, Associate Special Class Ui," The brunet greeted coolly with an inclination of his head.

Said investigator made an annoyed sound.

"What's up with that formality?" Koori demanded irritably, crossing his arms over his chest before facing the white haired man. "And, it's been a while, Arima-san. While it's nice to see you, I could really use a notice about this social call." He sighed at this exasperatedly.

Kaneki deduced that this was an old argument between them.

"I see that you're coping well," The man, Arima, merely stated in response as his eyes landed on a very nervous Kaneki who flinched at being noticed. "You've gotten yourself a new partner and subordinate." His voice held polite curiosity but they never left Kaneki.

"Oh, him?" Koori grinned as he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to gesture at the teen. "Yeah, you already knew that the Director assigned him to me. I've been training him to fight properly since he has little to no fighting experience. I have half a mind to even let him spend a week or two at the academy to get him up to par with his duties as an investigator, at least." He informed them rather openly and Kaneki couldn't help but think that Koori trusted these two exceptionally.

When Koori sent him a significant stare, Kaneki didn't understand at first. It wasn't until the androgynous man made a sharp gesture with his head that he understood.

Hesitantly stepping beside his superior, he gave a deep formal bow.

"K-Kaneki Ken. R-Rank 3 Investigator. It's a pleasure to meet you." He introduced himself as he straightened, anxiously meeting their gazes before lowering his eyes.

"The pleasure is ours as well, Kaneki-kun." Arima greeted back with a slight quirk of his mouth. "I'm Special Class Investigator Arima Kishou. And this is First Class Investigator Hirako Take." He gestured to the silent brunet man who simply nodded at him.

Kaneki gulped as he tried not to let his anxiety get the better of him, remaining silent.

"He's a little shy," Koori covered for him. "Don't worry about it. Anyways, Kaneki, you can go back first and change. Take a break, alright? I'm going to have a talk with these two back at my office." He waved the teen off with a light smile.

Not wanting to stay within their daunting presence for longer, he immediately gave another bow before scurrying to do as he was told.

**~o~**

Kaneki sweatdropped.

He was actually tempted to throw his phone at the first trash bin that he saw. Though, he couldn't do that. This was the issued mobile phone given to him by the CCG to replace his old one and certain contacts were saved in it for particular reasons.

Never mind the fact that he still had yet to contact Hide. The other must be so worried by now and Kaneki just didn't know how to approach him.

The reason for his dilemma was simple.

 _Hi, Kaneki-san!_ The message read simply. _I got to text you with the phone from some random dude I bumped into today. But, that's not why I contacted you! I'll see you at the office, ok? Shinohara-san's in a meeting and I forgot to ask for spending money, again. I want some donuts. Or ramen. Or okonomiyaki. You're really great! Teehee!~_

Surprisingly enough, the message itself was eligible and clean from any emoticons that would've been expected of the person who sent it. Though, that could be attributed to the fact that the content itself was the questionable part. No, what he wanted to know was how the other got his number to begin with. He didn't even want to know where he exactly got the phone to send him this message.

Then, to his trepidation, approximately twenty minutes later, another message followed it.

 _It's Juuzou, by the way!_ It said as he tried not to flinch at the reminder of the teen. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this. It was just **_one_** time. After he had bought the other teen a bowl of ice cream, he had promptly disappeared afterwards before he could be intimidated into buying him anything again. But, ever since that time, Juuzou bothered Kaneki randomly whenever the smaller teen wasn't working with Shinohara or every time Kaneki was around in the main office. Just so he could get Kaneki to treat him.

Because, apparently, the teen _always_ forgot to ask for spending money.

Well, it might have been also his fault for being unable to refuse.

Thankfully, the other never got around to approaching him at the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office yet. Ever since he'd discovered this, Kaneki had taken to hanging around more often there. Though, he would lament the day when Suzuya Juuzou actually went there to demand for another random food from random stalls or stores. His apartment, fortunately, had also been free from intrusion until now. Still, he didn't know how Juuzou knew that he'd been required to report this evening at the main office.

He didn't even want to know. He really feared for his budget.

Sighing, he simply pocketed his phone and focused back on the book he'd been reading before he got the text message. At least, he should remind Shinohara about giving Juuzou some money so the teen would stop pestering him again and again about it. When the other was acting normally, or as normally as he could at his state, Kaneki wouldn't deny that the white haired teen wasn't actually that bad.

Though, there were times where something about Juuzou shifted. It reminded him of that time the white haired teen had calmly threatened him of breaking his hand. There was no hesitation at all. Not even the slightest hint of emotion at the idea of inflicting harm on someone. Kaneki, while a bit concerned, didn't want to dwell too deeply into it. After all, he didn't know anything about Juuzou.

Deciding to think of anything else that wasn't his troublesome colleague, he tried concentrating on the words on his book to no avail.

Perhaps, what really bothered him throughout the ordeal, aside from the fact that he was clearly being taken advantage of, was that every time Juuzou ate, Kaneki could only watch him. Ever since he had turned the way he was, all he had going on for him was water and the bi-weekly feeding the CCG had allowed him with.

It was disconcerting how he had never really given much stock to eating until he'd been forced to notice that he couldn't consume human food anymore.

Just being left to wonder what they used to taste like.

Having been forced to be a ghoul had given him a new perspective regarding some things. Some of which he would never speak of to anyone in the CCG. He didn't think any of them would understand, he thought pessimistically.

He jumped in shock when someone sat unceremoniously beside him. Ever since Koori had asked him to take a break and be somewhere else, Kaneki had stayed at the longue located at the ground floor to catch up on some reading. Most of his co-workers were older than him and would chat with him once in a while but Kaneki, not being a social person himself in the first place, had a hard time interacting with them and fitting in generally.

All he had done so far aside from train with Koori were some errands and minor paperwork. Though, his superior, or partner, sometimes involved him in meetings that included investigations about certain cases of possible ghouls trying to stir chaos in the 4th Ward.

Really, he tried his best. Kaneki just didn't know if it was enough.

"Takatsuki Sen?" The person voiced curiously and Kaneki dropped his book as he realized that it was Arima Kishou.

"S-Special Class Investigator A-Arima-san!" He let out in a rather undignified yelp, feeling his cheeks already warming in mortification.

He felt a little bit of himself die at his rather embarrassing display.

Wasn't the man supposed to be in a meeting with Koori? What was he doing here with him in the first place? Though, he didn't have the courage to ask any of these and merely waited to hear what the man wanted to say. He also remembered Yoshitoki and Koori mentioning it. Officially, he was going to be under this man's squad. Was that why the man wanted to talk to him? Because Kaneki was going to be his subordinate or something? But, hadn't Koori also said that it didn't have to be necessarily the case?

"That book you're reading," Arima merely said as he picked up the fallen book. "It's a work of Takatsuki Sen."

"A-Ah, y-yes!" He stuttered, feeling a bit intimidated.

"Are you an avid reader as well?" The man questioned him with a slight tilt of his head, the lights above reflecting off the man's glasses.

Scratching his cheek, he smiled a bit nervously.

"You could say that." He exhaled slowly as he successfully ceased his stutter.

"So, what would you recommend?" Arima asked as perused the book in his hand with sharp eyes, flicking through the pages with surprising care. The man was obviously taking in some of the words as he examined the book's contents.

"Well," Kaneki's shoulders lost some of their tension at this inquiry, feeling a bit confident at his own field. "I would recommend some of Kafka's works. They hold some morbid concept to them but they're very deep. Also, if you haven't read all of them yet, Takatsuki's works are really popular and am certain that it will appeal to you. Of course, there's also some mysteries I can suggest like Christie's works."

"Would you mind lending me some of those you mentioned then?" The man inquired as he stared at Kaneki steadily.

Now, _that_ was something he hadn't expected. Especially considering—

"I, uh, they're in my apartment back at the 20th Ward." He admitted after a bit of fumbling. "This was simply one of the books that Shinohara-san gave me during my, uh, probation period. B-But, if I get them back, I'll let you know immediately." He promised the man rather impulsively.

He wasn't even given the permission yet to visit his place there.

Arima then stood up as he handed Kaneki back his book, _Monochrome Rainbow_.

"I appreciate it," Arima quietly mumbled before tossing a can towards the teen who barely managed to catch it.

Looking at the label, Kaneki paled as he realized that it was a warm can of black coffee.

What the hell—

"Uhm, I-I can't accept this—" He tried to find a way to decline it without sounding too rude. As a _Special Class_ in rank, surely, Arima knew of his situation. Yoshitoki did tell him that he had already briefed his high-ranking investigators at the special class meeting.

"I assure you, that won't offend your ghoul sensibilities." The man merely told him before walking away, leaving the dumbfounded teen to stare at his back.

**~o~**

"Have you heard the rumors?" A random ghoul commented rather anxiously. "Apparently, a ghoul is working for the doves. What's the meaning of this? Is it true?" He anxiously questioned as he shakily took a sip of his coffee.

"I dunno," His companion shrugged without care. "They're just that, _rumors_. What ghoul, in their right mind, would work for those bastards?" He worded out distastefully.

The other didn't answer and remained silent as the tension rose.

Yoshimura frowned as he stared at his two customers. He had heard of the same rumor as well. In fact, he had a guess as to what it actually meant. His eyes subconsciously strayed to the forlorn looking blond boy at the far side of the shop and out of hearing range of the two conversing ghouls. The boy always came here every day. He was the one who came here with that boy who went out with Rize. The one who had also asked for her after that.

It was troubling. Especially since he recalled watching the news and learning of the young man who received a peculiar transplant around three weeks ago.

Now, he feared the worse.

"Tch," Touka grunted as she came around the counter. "Those shitty idiots. Do they even know what they're talking about?" She grouched to him as she violently set her tray beside the steamer, her temper showing itself.

"Rumors always have their own basis, Touka-chan." He advised the girl as he went back to polishing his cups meticulously.

"That ghoul's fucking stupid then." She merely countered with a huff before going off to serve another customer.

There was some shifting from behind him before Yoshimura turned around and saw the troubled face of Yomo. The man wordlessly stepped beside him, picked up a cloth, and helped him in drying up some of the mugs on the counter.

"Have you heard from Uta-kun?" Yoshimura inquired quietly.

Yomo grimaced.

"They got him." He simply answered with a frown.

Troubling, indeed.

* * *

"Road of Blood" (2) 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ui's characterization, I've based it on what little I've seen of him from the Anteiku Raid. For Arima, from what little I've glimpsed and is revealed of him during Amon's promotion, the Anteiku Raid, and that little bit of him from Tokyo Ghoul:re. Suzuya is a bit hard to write since the balance between how he changed and how he still remained that apathetic little psycho didn't have an "exact" point. But, it was shown that while he complains and complains about and to Shinohara before he realized the man's importance to him, he's already quite fond of the man.
> 
> Though, I wasn't really sure if the CCG were exactly aware that ghouls could drink coffee. Barring Sasaki's case, of course.
> 
> To dispel the confusion, they're talking about Kaneki in the last part. Since Uta's shop is located at the 4th Ward, they've asked him in the hopes if he can confirm the rumor circulating around. So sorry for the misunderstanding. No, the CCG hadn't captured Uta. I don't think it would be that easy.


	3. Draw the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People have plans for Kaneki while he finally gets involved in his first case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. I can't believe I finished this chapter in those breaks I had. Which is admittedly very limited but am very hyped for this story for some reason. Work has begun to stabilized after those hectic days where everyone's been crazy and frantic but, yeah, happy to have some breathing room again. Still, busy, busy.

* * *

 

"Are you alright?" The other asked as he crouched in front of Kaneki whom he just bumped into.

Though, his visible eye widened when he met a pair of familiar teal eyes before he hastily ducked his head in order to avoid the gaze. Wordlessly, the man helped him pick up the fallen papers. It had been quite some time since he had seen this person. He tried not to tense in the other's presence, though, and silently arranged the papers as he accepted them back without directly looking at the man again.

As they stood up, he bowed to him in gratitude.

"T-Thank you for your help," Kaneki told him quietly, fingers clutching the papers to his chest tightly.

"It's fine." Amon Koutarou merely nodded at him.

The teen tried to ignore the taut line of the man's shoulders and the way he would look at a spot somewhere above Kaneki's head. Which, in his opinion, was fine since he didn't think he would like what he would see in the other's stare anyway. This was one of the reasons why working for the CCG really discomforted him. Those who were aware of his situation always had their eyes on him and he always had to assure himself that they weren't judging him.

Though, it was hard not to. So far, only Koori and Shinohara had calmed his nerves. He still didn't know what to think of Arima.

"That document… an approval?" Amon questioned him somewhat abruptly as he gestured to the paper he had handed back a while ago.

Kaneki stared at the man's face briefly before lowering his gaze. If the other didn't want to talk to him, that was fine. Kaneki had never been one for social trivialities to begin with but the way Amon was trying so hard despite his obvious aversion to it was kind of upsetting.

After all, he would appreciate honesty more than anything else considering his situation.

"D-Director Washuu finally agreed to let me make a visit to my apartment back at the 20th Ward." He answered hesitantly as he tried to think of a way to end the conversation without coming off as rude. Though, the thought of finally going back to a familiar environment very much appealed to him and it helped in easing his anxiety about this conversation. "It was nice seeing you again, Amon-san, but I need to report back to Koori-san so—"

Before he could even mentally pat his back for not stumbling over his words, he was cut off by the man.

"Then, you can come with Mado-san and I." Amon put in a bit tersely. "We'll be departing for the 20th Ward tomorrow." His voice was edged with a little reluctance and Kaneki eyed him owlishly as he wondered why Amon was offering in the first place if it made him that much uneasy.

 _Are you really that repulsed by my presence?_ He couldn't help but wonder as he eyed the taller man cautiously.

Still, he felt that refusing now would mean disrespect and while Kaneki didn't want to deal with him if it was always going to be this awkward, he got the feeling that declining right now might forever close that bridge between them. Never to be crossed again.

So, taking a deep breath, he gave the man what he hoped was a grateful smile.

"I would appreciate it." He merely said and Amon eyed him for a while longer before nodding and walking past him.

Kaneki wondered what he had potentially just gotten himself into.

Sighing, he headed to the lobby in order to head out and let Koori know that he'd be leaving for the 20th Ward tomorrow. It had been at least almost four weeks now since his accident. He wondered how many things had changed since his disappearance. Not to mention, he still needed to officially drop out of college. He wondered what Hide would think of his decision. Though, it wasn't like he had any choice, no matter how much Yoshitoki softened the blow.

He barely took a step past the RC scan gates before a voice called out to him, one that sent exasperation washing over his expression in an instant.

It seemed like he met the strangest people today.

"Kaneki-san~!" Suzuya Juuzou called as the white haired teen practically skipped towards him.

"A-Ah," He simply inhaled sharply as he took a step back just as Juuzou tried to get in his face, like he always did.

Kaneki resisted the urge to sigh. He already knew this routine.

"I found this great bakery two blocks from here." Juuzou happily informed him, waving his arms around dramatically. "They sell these _awesome_ macaroons. Come on, your treat!~" He drawled the last word playfully, again, like he always did, with that sweet smile that admittedly unnerved Kaneki.

"I really can't, Juuzou-kun." He exhaled slowly as he dug in his pocket for his wallet. "I have somewhere else to be—"

Only to find it missing.

Directing an accusing gaze at Juuzou who merely hummed innocently, Kaneki shifted his grip on the papers in his arm before holding out a hand. For a moment, Juuzou tilted his head before pouting and reluctantly handing back his possession to him. It was annoying at first, to be honest, but having been at the receiving end of it several times got old very fast and Kaneki just let Juuzou do as he wished as long as the other didn't completely rob him.

At least, he hoped the other wouldn't.

"I need to report back to Koori-san," Kaneki continued from where he left off, grabbing some bills from his wallet and passed them to the other, hoping that was enough. Though, he would need to talk to Shinohara some time later about reimbursing him.

"You're so weird." Juuzou admitted rather brazenly, idly inspecting his stiches on his right arm, as he pocketed the money.

 _The same could be said to you_ , Kaneki thought wearily as he kept his wallet more securely.

"Well, I need to get going, Juuzou-kun." He said as he walked around the other as calmly as he could. Though, he ceased in his stride as the other easily caught up and blocked his way, peering at him curiously.

Of course, he should've known. It would be too easy otherwise.

"Already?" The wide eyes almost seemed as if the other was really upset at his departure but Kaneki had learned early on that Juuzou enjoyed riling him up.

"Yes." Kaneki answered tiredly. "A-Aren't you supposed to be on a case with Shinohara-san?" He redirected a bit.

"We already had it all wrapped up." Juuzou grinned at him. "Those ghouls weren't that strong to begin with." He told him without the slightest hitch in his voice or even just a tiny note of hesitation and it worried Kaneki.

While the mere idea of killing anyone perturbed him, the white haired teen's insensitivity to it even more so.

Though, he would never say that to Juuzou's face.

"I-I really need to go." Kaneki stammered slightly, unable to curb his discomfort.

There was a playful glint in those ruby orbs that he grew to be extremely familiar with. One that also had a knowing gleam in them. Judging by the unfaltering grin, Juuzou _knew_. The other always, _always_ did this. And it was exhausting. Maybe even frustrating.

As if mocking him further, Juuzou stepped aside and dramatically gestured with his right arm to let him through, humming under his breath.

Kaneki wasn't one to waste opportunities, though, and took the chance to instantly leave.

He swore that he heard Juuzou laugh.

**~o~**

Shinohara took one look at Juuzou happily munching on some macaroons before sighing.

"Don't tell me that you got money from Kaneki-kun again," He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he stood before his younger partner. He had just finished filing their report for their recently accomplished case and had seen Juuzou lounging on a bench across the main office the moment he got out of the building. Kaneki was being too lenient on the white haired teen and Shinohara felt second-hand embarrassment for Juuzou's actions.

Juuzou swallowed before looking back at him with a curious expression.

"He gives me money anyway." He shrugged nonchalantly before popping another macaroon into his mouth, offering the bag of baked treats to the man who shook his head at the offer before shrugging again.

Putting his hands on his hips, Shinohara stared at Juuzou with a stern expression.

Maybe, he was also being too tolerant too.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop harassing him for money?" He scolded the other firmly, eyes narrowing into a glare. "If you need spending money, you can always come to me and I'll gladly give it to you as long as what you want to spend it on is reasonable." He further lectured as he made a swipe for the bag of treats in Juuzou's hand only for the other to toss it up in the air and catch it with his other hand.

Shinohara gave him an unimpressed stare.

"They're mine." Juuzou declared rather possessively as he brought it closer by his side, eyes staring at the man cautiously.

"You bought them with Kaneki-kun's money." Shinohara pointed out rather blandly, not bothering for a second attempt.

Though, instead of petulantly complaining that Kaneki gave it to him as he did each time they had this argument, Juuzou merely grabbed another piece of macaroon from the small plastic bag and opted to gaze at it intently.

Then, he looked back up at Shinohara with the most baffled expression the man had ever seen on him.

"He's so weird." Juuzou admitted straightforwardly.

Shinohara's face morphed with surprise at this admission.

"Is it because of Kaneki-kun's half-ghoul nature?" He questioned just as bluntly, knowing that the other didn't appreciate dancing around the subject unless he was the one doing it for the sake of messing with people's heads. Though, to be honest, he was actually interested in Juuzou's answer. People rarely caught the teen's attention, seeing as he was in his own world most of the time, but Juuzou had stuck by Kaneki for some reason.

Also, there was the fact that Juuzou had also been easily able to tell that Kaneki was a ghoul when they first met. He didn't deny it when questioned seeing as Juuzou wouldn't accept another answer in the first place. Although, he did try to explain Kaneki's situation. He wondered if the story actually stuck. Knowing Juuzou, though, he might've remembered facts that only intrigued his fancy.

"Nope," The teen shook his head, causing his white locks to flutter. "It doesn't matter since we're on the same side, right?" He tilted his head as if this should've been obvious.

"Of course," Shinohara nodded thoughtfully. "Why do you think he's odd then?"

At this, Juuzou looked a bit put out and he was actually tempted to laugh at such an expression. He wondered what was it about Kaneki that could've caught the white haired teen's attention, to the point that he seemed to have been actually thinking about it for quite some time.

"It's because others in the CCG give him this weird look." Juuzou started out with a frown. "Maybe they know what he is, I dunno. Some don't even treat him right because he's such a _rookie_. They sometimes take advantage of him by making him run around the place as their errand guy. I bet his partner's always mad at him for wasting time. But, Kaneki-san is _so weird_. He never complained. As in, _never_. And, I don't get it. Even when I practically take money from him, he doesn't say anything! It's so **_weird_**. If it were **_me_** , I would've cut off their tongues and maybe gouge their eyes out so they would stop—" He giggled a bit at the end only to be brought to a halt as Shinohara lightly cuffed him beside the head.

"Why is violence always your first choice?" Shinohara demanded, a mix between annoyed and worried at the teen's thoughts.

"So they would stop." The white haired teen answered directly, not a trace of deceit on his person and he had no doubt that Juuzou meant it.

Shinohara had seen it firsthand.

It wasn't concern for Kaneki that Juuzou was showing him. For someone who dealt with similar things back at the academy, it must've confused Juuzou as to why Kaneki reacted differently than he did back then. While it relieved him that violence wasn't Kaneki's initial response, it was still a bit troubling. Maybe he should talk to Ui about this.

"As for Kaneki-kun's behavior, I think he may have been feeling the pressure of working for the CCG." Shinohara contemplated as he gladly took their conversation to another route. "He's a civilian and he's brought into all this unexpectedly. Not as a human either." He pursed his lips at the thought, suddenly feeling concern as he thought of the timid teen whose clouded eyes still shone with kindness despite the harsh and demanding situation the CCG had put him into.

He wasn't exactly blind to the fact that they had cornered him into this life. Even though he understood the reason behind it, it didn't mean that it always sat well with Shinohara. Though, the least he could do now was offer help when he could.

"Maybe I should teach him instead." Juuzou openly contemplated as he finally took a bite of the macaroon in his hand.

"Teach him?" He blinked bewilderedly. "Just leave him alone, Juuzou." He instantly objected, not quite liking that familiar glint in the other's eyes.

Juuzou hummed as he stood up, a wide thoughtful smile on his face.

"It's easy." The white haired teen grinned.

Shinohara sighed as he rubbed his temples at the brewing headache he was starting to feel. When Juuzou was set on something, he was rather hard to deter and for some reason, he was starting to get that familiar bad feeling as well.

In the end, he simply wondered if this was Juuzou's way of making a friend.

**~o~**

Kaneki stepped inside Koori's office with a relieved sigh.

He was actually thankful that he mostly worked at the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office. For the past few days that he had to accomplish some things in the main office, it hadn't exactly escaped his notice that some of the workers there were cautious of him. After all, he was actually one of the rare ones who became an investigator without having to go through the Academy. It would only be right to reason then that there was something special behind his circumstance.

At least, it wasn't as blatant in the branch office, though, being the partner of Koori might have something to contribute to that.

Also, there were arrogant ones that looked down on his greenhorn nature. Apparently, it was now a bit known that he hadn't done anything to actually earn his place. If they knew that he'd rather be somewhere else than where he was now, then maybe they'd understand.

Still, he didn't want them to resent his presence there more than they might've already had so he did little errands for them when his time allowed him to and made it certain that it wouldn't reflect on his actual work with Koori. Though, there was an anxiety that sat within him, always wondering if things would be worse than they already were if they knew. Especially when he always disappeared around lunch time and even when some of his co-workers invited him to a restaurant or the cafeteria to get to know him, Kaneki had no choice but to refuse.

He didn't think that he'd be able to fool them by pretending to like human food.

So far, the discovery of being able to drink black coffee somewhat put him at ease. It had actually been a surprise to know that ghouls could drink it. Though, trying to put sugar or cream or even milk in the drink to lessen the bitter taste was not something to be repeated. Kaneki reminded himself that he had to thank Arima for that. Maybe, he could give the man a book. He certainly seemed interested.

Though, to be fair, it took him two days before even attempting to taste the drink. He was somewhat embarrassed that he had doubted the Special Class Investigator in the first place.

"So, the director finally gave you his approval, huh?" Koori wondered aloud as he inspected the paper Kaneki had just handed him.

"Yes." Kaneki answered quietly, used enough of speaking to his superior without at least stuttering over his words every time. "I'll be leaving tomorrow so I won't be around then." He rubbed his left elbow with his right hand, slightly anxious.

Though, he blinked in slight bewilderment as Koori handed him a folder.

Opening it, his eyes widened as he read the heading. In it was a file entitled, "Ghoul Number 696: Fueguchi Case". He skimmed through the document and discovered that the CCG was investigating a ghoul who had been killed months ago. Apparently, said ghoul had a family and they were searching for where they had gone in hiding. Kaneki's grip on the folder tightened as he realized that the current stage of the case was at the 20th Ward.

"What is this, Koori-san?" He questioned hesitantly, even though he already suspected the answer.

"To be honest, I've already been notified of your leave tomorrow." The man admitted succinctly as he leaned forward a bit and propped his elbows on his desk. "To make your visit there productive, Mado-san had specifically requested for you to join them in their investigation. Your involvement shouldn't last for more than a week or two depending on the progress. Especially, for all intents and purposes, you are still a trainee." His brows furrowed a bit just as Kaneki felt the blood drain down his cheeks at the mention of the white haired man with the sunken cheeks.

"H-He did?" Kaneki tried not to let his dread known but judging by the frown Koori was wearing, he hadn't been exactly subtle.

Why would the man ask for him explicitly?

"Mado-san is a very effective investigator. You'd do well to learn a thing or two from him." Koori smiled a bit at this but there was something almost troubled brewing in his gaze. "I guess that they hadn't informed you yet about this. As I've said, there will be times when you are going to have to provide assistance to investigations for your experience. This is going to be one of those times, it seems." He said to the teen quietly.

Kaneki tried not to let his nervousness overwhelm him.

Though, he jolted as he recalled his conversation with Amon earlier at the main office. Now, he knew the reason why the man had been trying to talk to him despite his obvious want to be anywhere else but there. The man had known that Kaneki would be working with them at the 20th Ward. Now, he was actually grateful that he had accepted the offer. Things would've been more awkward had he refused and discovered that he would have to spend his time with them regardless.

Still, he bit his lip as he stared at the file in his hand once again.

Was he ready for this?

Kaneki snapped out of his stupor as he watched Koori stand up behind his desk in order to look at the view below them provided by the floor-to-ceiling window behind him. He seemed to be contemplating something before he crossed his arms and stared directly at Kaneki in the eye.

"I'm sorry that your first case won't be with me, your partner." Koori told him with a sigh.

"It's fine." Kaneki immediately responded with a small uncertain smile of his own. "I-I'm just a bit overwhelmed. To be working on an actual case this early…" He admitted shyly, lowering his gaze in uncertainty.

Though, his eyes widened as Koori snorted at his words.

"No one was born an excellent investigator." The man lectured him, words containing a little reprimand in them. "There are those who are natural but they all work hard to get where they are. I'm telling you to actually learn from this investigation. Remember what I taught you. You didn't spend your first few days working and training just to be unable to apply them when it matters. If you ever get in trouble, don't _ever_ hesitate, do you hear me, Rank 3 Investigator Kaneki Ken?" Koori demanded a bit tersely, face stony.

"H-Hai, Associate Special Class Ui!" He saluted as he straightened, an almost subconscious response at the commanding tone.

Koori nodded firmly at this, satisfied.

"After that, we'll work on our first case together." The man smiled at him widely, an almost eager glint in his eyes. "But, for now, do your best." The other advised as he stepped around his desk and moved forward to pat Kaneki on the shoulder before walking past him.

It almost seemed like an incentive for him to come back. He exhaled slowly as he calmed himself down from the initial anxiety.

"Yes, I will." Kaneki answered quietly.

Koori paused in his step.

"So, while we're at it, why don't we spar a little before you leave, eh?"

**~o~**

It was late morning when Amon and Mado had met him at the main office the next day.

Though, in his haste to get there early, he had bumped into a brunet young man on the entrance who had immediately glared at him.

"Hey, watch where you're going, will you!" The other complained as he straightened his tie.

"Ah!" Kaneki gasped as he stared with wide eyes before giving a brief bow. "I'm sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!" He apologized sincerely as he tried not to cringe at the other's severely annoyed expression.

Though, suddenly, the annoyance was replaced with befuddlement.

"Aren't you a little young to be here?" The brunet questioned him suspiciously, squinting at him down at him.

"I-I just became an investigator some time ago." Kaneki answered vaguely, squirming where he stood as he subtly pulled his sleeve back in order to view the time on his watch. He wasn't late but he wanted to be there now in case they were already there.

"How old are you?" The unknown man demanded rather brusquely to the point of being rude.

"Eighteen." He answered quickly, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

Incredulity bled through his eyes and face. He then proceeded to look Kaneki up and down. From his white suit jacket, to his black dress shirt, to his grey tie, black dress pants, and even his dress shoes. Though, his brown eyes lingered on Kaneki's black eyepatch for a little longer before crossing his arms over his chest. Kaneki tried to stay still at the intense scrutiny he was being put under. He knew that he didn't look that close to being investigator-material, but _still_.

The other suddenly groaned.

"Not another _one_ …" He grumbled to himself as he rubbed a hand over his face. "He's even younger than _him_. Geez." He grimaced as he stared at Kaneki some more before whirling around to stomp into the building. "Whatever, I need to give my report to Houji-san…"

He left a rather bewildered Kaneki behind as his complaints gradually faded into the distance.

Though, after being released from such an awkward encounter, he finally stepped into the lobby.

Koori had informed him what time to show up. Still, he couldn't help but fidget as the two men strode towards him. Amon gave him a brief nod and his expression remained neutral. At least, he wasn't blatantly ignoring him. Kaneki didn't know what he would do if that had been the case. It was already uncomfortable enough when he knew that Amon was bothered by his presence but to be snubbed might quickly diminish whatever hope he had of having his first case successful.

"Kaneki-kun," Mado greeted him more jovially than Kaneki expected, considering how Amon was wary towards him.

"G-Good morning, Mado-san, Amon-san." Kaneki gave a small bow in greeting.

Mado waved a quick impatient hand as he gestured for the teen to follow after them. Though, he was slightly surprised to find out that they were travelling the standard way. Kaneki awkwardly walked after them as they boarded the train to the 20th Ward and tried not to fidget too much in their intimidating presence. Though, now, he was now suspecting that Amon's quiet attitude was more on focusing on the case than his presence, which relieved him since he didn't want to be a burden so early on when the actual investigation hadn't even started.

"I believe this is your first involvement in an actual case, correct?" Mado questioned him throughout the ride.

"Yes," Kaneki tried to firm his voice as he remembered those several reprimands from Koori about stuttering his words. That was one of the first few things that Koori had addressed him of after apparently hearing from Arima how their encounter went like. It was embarrassing. Though, it was still in progress since he couldn't stop those few slip-ups every now and then and Koori would merely sigh at him in a bout of exasperation.

Mado hummed.

"Right now, all we're doing is a search." The white haired man informed him, squinting and bulging eyes focused down on him from where he stood since the trains were crowded. "But, at the chance that we indeed find the subject, you're going to have to pick up your slack and fight. I'm certain that Ui had at least imparted this to you." His gaze was assessing and Kaneki swallowed as he processed the words in his head.

"He did." He answered softly, brows furrowing as he tried to hide his troubled sentiments.

The man nodded at him.

Kaneki clenched his hands as he recalled Koori's words during one of their trainings.

(” _No one enjoys killing, Kaneki._ " The man had told him with a morose frown. " _But, for the sake of those who can't fight, we're gonna have to stand up and do it for them. No one says that being an investigator is actually an honorable job. Because, in the end, all the people who work here have their own reasons. Some not even admirable. As a half-ghoul, don't you think that finding your own reason is more acceptable than simply have it dictated for you?_ ")

Of course, he knew that he had become one against his will. Koori had been telling him that it was why he couldn't find the right motivation to move forward in this career. Because his reason for being in the CCG had been determined for him.

While he understood what they were trying to impart to him, he also couldn't help but contemplate to himself since the knowledge of his half-ghoul nature finally sunk in. What made ghouls actually different from humans? Was it because they ate people? Was it because they killed? Because of their kagune? Their eyes? He didn't know. Surely, all of them couldn't have killed just for the sake of killing. While this thought was absurd the first time it came to his mind, it wouldn't leave him alone afterwards.

Because, not all of them had chosen to become one.

He certainly hadn't volunteered for it.

Kaneki hadn't even noticed when they had arrived by the 20th Ward station. He had been so lost in his thoughts that Mado had to lightly push him out of the train. His cheeks reddened slightly in mortification as he stumbled into the platform and tried to ignore Amon's hard gaze on him.

Still, for all the years that he had lived in the 20th Ward, he had never been there before.

"The 20th Ward, huh?" He heard Amon mutter as they finally stepped out of the underground.

"Well, this is where we temporarily part ways, Kaneki-kun." Mado cut in as Kaneki whirled around to face the man to express his confusion. "Amon-kun and I are going to go see the ward for ourselves first. I haven't been here since the "owl" case. How nostalgic." He grinned widely as looking up at the sky.

"U-Uhm—" He voiced out uncertainly, unable to bring forth the words.

 _What am I supposed to do?_ Kaneki wondered to himself incredulously. _Why did you even request for me in the first place?_ He questioned for what must've been the hundredth time since he had been informed by Koori.

"Head first to the 20th Ward CCG Branch Office and inform them of our arrivals." Mado ordered him as he shifted his grip on the briefcase on his hand. "I believe that there's information waiting for us from the Branch Director. We'll be meeting you there late in the afternoon. In fact, today is the day that you're finally allowed to come back to your place, isn't it? Be quick with that trip to the Branch Office then do what you have to. Just be sure to report in at the specified time I gave you." The man told him as he took a step forward with Amon following closely.

"Thank you, Mado-san." Kaneki responded gratefully.

Mado stopped in his tracks before looking at the dark haired teen over his shoulder.

There was a glint in his eye that unnerved Kaneki.

"Afterwards, I have something to give you." The man grinned at him widely.

**~o~**

For all the years that Kaneki had lived in the 20th Ward, he had never been to the CCG branch office located there.

Still, like the main office and the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office, the office here was tall and full of floor-to-ceiling windows. Though, compared to them, the branch was admittedly smaller but it didn't fail in giving the same imposing vibe that the CCG offices always managed to give him. Thankfully, Mado had given him the necessary directions. Amon had been agitated throughout the exchange and Kaneki wondered if the man was always so high-strung during a case.

The moment he stepped into the building, he saw the familiar RC scan gates that seemed to be located at every CCG facility within Tokyo. Apparently, the funding behind this project was not top-priority and he had no doubt that ghoul execution would be an everyday occasion if it was otherwise.

He shivered at the thought.

"Are you from the main office?" A voice questioned from behind him and Kaneki turned around to see a bespectacled brunet man behind him.

Kaneki smiled as he scratched his cheek with a finger.

"Y-Yes," He answered quietly. "I'm Rank 3 Investigator Kaneki Ken." He introduced politely with a small bow while the man before him blinked in slight surprise, as if unused to receiving such a formal greeting.

"Likewise." The man returned his bow and smiled at him cordially. "I'm Kusaba Ippei. Rank 3 Bureau Investigator." Kusaba introduced himself as he extended a hand.

Kaneki hesitantly accepted it and shook it.

He had already heard of bureau investigators from Koori. He had been informed that they formed majority of the CCG employees. They were considered as backup for the ghoul investigators and handled majority of the paperwork. Also, they were mainly assigned to CCG branch offices. Kaneki wondered why they hadn't merely assigned him to be one of those instead. Aside from the major possibility that they weren't instantly geared for combat, Kaneki thought that the position suited him more, especially when he didn't have any fighting experience prior.

"I didn't expect the main office to send a lower rank for this case, though." Kusaba admitted sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head.

"Ah, no, _no_!" Kaneki immediately waved off, dissuading him. "I'm just, uh, a subordinate. The ones in charge are First Class Investigator Mado Kureo and Rank 1 Investigator Amon Koutarou. They actually just sent me here to inform you that they've arrive at the ward and have gone around to see it for themselves." He went on to explain quickly so the other wouldn't get the wrong idea. He could already imagine the disapproving glare from Amon.

"I see, I see." The man easily accepted with a nervous smile, no doubt intimidated by the ranks mentioned.

Afterwards, Kaneki had only registered in and informed the other that Mado would be expecting a meeting with the branch director. Kusaba had admitted that he assumed as much. Though, at the offer to go to one of the lounges there in order to chat, Kaneki had to decline seeing as he needed to see to one of his main purposes of being at the 20th Ward. So, while sheepishly apologizing to the man for abruptly leaving, Kaneki assured him that he would be back by the time his superiors would be there.

Thankfully, Kusaba hadn't asked about the eyepatch. Kaneki didn't think that he'd be able to explain other than the story of being in an accident almost a month ago. He frowned as he remembered his circumstance.

Would the reception been as welcoming as that one if they knew?

Shaking his head at this thought, he marveled at how the 20th Ward hadn't really changed in his short absence. Which, he supposed that he was grateful for. It felt too long since he'd been here and he wanted to cherish this little freedom granted to him after an intense amount spent under supervision.

Remembering that Mado expected him some time later, Kaneki hurried towards his apartment, anxious as to its state since he disappeared.

Thankfully, he had paid in advance before so he hadn't needed to worry about rent.

While the familiar streets and blocks brought a sense of comfort for him, it also raised unpleasant memories as well. His mother's death, being the first. Then, there was his aunt who had, from what he last heard of her, had transferred to another ward since he moved out of the house. Then, there was his last few days here. His date with Rize, being almost killed and eaten by her, then that transplant, and how he was shipped to the CCG main office back at the 1st Ward.

He couldn't exactly say that he departed this place on a lighthearted note.

Though, he also couldn't explain the giddy sense he felt upon seeing the familiar building where his apartment was located. Kaneki resisted the urge to simply run there and took his time as he approached his residence for the past few months ever since he moved out of his aunt's place.

Did his bookshelf gather too much dust already? He really wanted to see his books and their condition. Also, he needed to see what he could bring with him back at his new apartment at the 1st Ward. Though, just as he neared the building, he heard the sound of books and paperwork dropping on the ground. After all, that was a sound he was familiar with around the office and it was hard to ignore.

Whirling around to see what it was about, he froze. Because, _how could he forget?_ He wondered and berated himself for his lapse.

"K-Kaneki?" The other hesitantly called him, stepping forward and over the books at his feet. "Is that you, man?"

**_Hide._ **

His breath hitched.

* * *

"Draw the Line" (3)

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before some of you burn me or berate me, this was actually Amon's initial attitude in the manga. I checked just to be sure. He was, in my opinion, prejudiced against ghouls. Though, it's because his "righteousness" has blinded him. Only seeing human suffering and became blind by grief and hatred. I think this was the reason why readers initially disliked him. So, naturally, he will be undecided and unreceptive of Kaneki.
> 
> Yeah, I left it on a cliffhanger note. I'm following the manga timeline but not as closely. There are going to be changes. Though, I think that the real change will occur after the Fueguchi Case. As I have an entirely different story for the Gourmet Arc and the following arcs and it's planned in my head. Also, the Fueguchi Arc will be the deciding factor as to how Anteiku will see him.
> 
> Thank you for your comments. I appreciate them. :D


	4. Cry of Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goals are being set. And Kaneki has yet to see his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Sorry for a rather late update. I've been really busy because there was some project at uni that I needed to finish and I haven't managed to squeeze some writing time until a little bit later. Not to mention, I promptly got taken down by a cold some time after that and had been stuck in bed for at least five days. This chapter is rather slow-going so, please be patient.

* * *

Koori closed the door as he stepped inside the office.

"Ui." Yoshitoki greeted him with an incline of his head as he gave the Bureau Director a formal bow.

He looked at the man directly in the eyes as he straightened.

"Greetings, Director." He responded softly as he strode forward and took the available space across Yoshitoki.

It had already been more than two weeks since his new partner was assigned to him. Koori would've thought that this meeting would take place sooner. It hadn't been a standard situation after all. He could still remember Marude's grimace at the mention of employing a ghoul within their midst, former human notwithstanding. He had reserved his view on the subject and merely let the director list down the precautions and measures regarding the matter.

A decision from the CCG Chairman himself, after all, was irrefutable.

He remembered feeling a bit troubled at the verdict of receiving the responsibility regarding the half-ghoul's—  _Kaneki Ken_ — integration into their ranks. It wasn't like Koori could refuse a direct order from the Bureau Director.

Still, despite his initial hesitation, he wouldn't say that it had been terrible.

Kaneki was a good kid. He took his duties seriously. He had  _potential_. Koori knew this just as much as anyone with keen eyes. Even Arima had taken some sort of interest in him. But the problem lied in the fact that the teen didn't want to be an investigator. It showed in the way he hesitated in fighting, the way his eyes dimmed and shone with fear at the mention of killing or death, and just the way he was so  _ **terrified**_ of being discovered as a ghoul within their midst.

It all left a bad taste within him.

"I hope that all's been well for you." Yoshitoki remarked pleasantly.

"Yes," Koori nodded his head agreeably. "Things have been going fine. Kaneki's been really helpful." He stated as an opening for the subject that they both knew was the real reason behind this appointment.

At that, the man gave him an assessing gaze.

"That's good to hear." The director said quietly. "Speaking of which, how is Kaneki-kun doing?" Yoshitoki, as expected, graciously took the prospect.

For a moment, Koori honestly felt like he should lie. For whose sake, he didn't know but the impulse was surprisingly very strong. But, then again, he didn't think that he could continue on with this if he only bottled up the things that needed to be said. Arima had taught him that much.

"I think—  _no_ , I  _know_  that Kaneki is set up to fail." Koori bluntly admitted as his eyes narrowed, feeling a frown pulling at his lips.

Yoshitoki's expression was unreadable but Koori could see the calculating gleam in his eyes. It was the same thing he had seen back then when he had been told that he was going to have Kaneki Ken as his new partner and subordinate. Whether it had to do with position or him as a person, he didn't know. But, he could also still recall the way the director had asked him to be patient with the teen.

He had been and he knew why.

"It's because no one is there to teach Kaneki how to live as a ghoul." He continued softly, voice tighter than he intended. "He only lives the way we tell him to. I don't think he understands himself how to go about living because no one understands him. Every day, he lives in doubt because  _no one understands_. He struggles to keep up with us because it's easy to be human. His kindness will be his downfall." He told the man honestly.

It didn't exactly escape his notice that Kaneki had stuck to him throughout the duration of their work together. He had barely seen the teen interact with anyone from the CCG that wasn't him, Shinohara, or Suzuya Juuzou. He had also known about those little errands his partner did for other people in the main office.

The teen was alone.

Koori feared that it would get him killed sooner or later.

"Is that so?" Yoshitoki hummed thoughtfully.

"It doesn't necessarily mean that Kaneki is a bad person or he's shaping to be a bad investigator," Koori further explained, remembering their sparring lessons and Kaneki's intuitive mind when it came to discussing potential cases and logistics. "I just think that being an investigator within the CCG as a ghoul will one day take its toll and destroy him. I don't think I can personally be involved in someone else's destruction." He admitted with a little trepidation.

At this, the Bureau Director closed his eyes before opening them once again. There was a hard glint in his eyes that Koori had only ever seen when dangerous operation were at work and he didn't know how to feel about it considering that it involved his current charge.

"Have you ever thought of why the CCG Chairman agreed to his inclusion as an investigator in the first place?" He asked the younger man as he stood up from the couch and went over his desk to grab a folder.

"I have my suspicions." Koori answered noncommittally.

"There are several factors that the chairman has considered when it came to letting the half-ghoul, Kaneki Ken, into our ranks." Yoshitoki finally revealed as he went back to his seat, folder still in hand. "You have made your points, Associate Special Class Ui, but I believe that the choice has been taken out of our hands." He stated grimly and Koori tried not to frown at how the man had just referred to Kaneki as if the teen was merely another ghoul or test subject, which was undoubtedly the truth, but nevertheless bothered him.

But, he suddenly realized that Yoshitoki had given him the chance to ask.

And, Koori didn't waste it.

"What does Yoshitoki-san exactly mean?" He questioned levelly, mind whirring with possibilities.

"With Kanou Akihiro missing, did you think that Kaneki Ken will be the last?" The director answered with a question instead as his eyes darkened ever so slightly. "We both know the answer to that and the chairman does as well. We believe that we may be seeing another batch of half-ghouls in the near future and the chairman had merely taken precautionary measures against it. Also, I believe that you've heard of this case already from First Class Hirako?" Yoshitoki inquired as he handed the folder to an apprehensive Koori.

He browsed the contents briefly and he grimaced. Take had already brought this up to him several days ago. The man had even went on and told him that he and Kaneki would certainly be involved in this case. The nature of it had been too troubling.

A group of ghouls had been terrorizing the 14th Ward as of late. Two investigators had already been killed off. It was only a matter of time before the case itself entered the 4th Ward. But, Koori knew that while it would involve him seeing as he was in charge of the 4th Ward, he knew that it wasn't exactly the reason why they were being brought into it. Take had never been one for dancing around the subject anyway.

Now, reading it in the file, it was stated that one of the ghouls who had been exterminated in return was a mess of deformed skin and bones. One of the likes that hadn't been dealt with before, especially when they were observed to be nothing but mindless beasts by this point.

What practically disturbed him was the fact that the fluids left in the scene and from what was garnered from the corpse matched Kaneki's evolved genetic make-up upon becoming a half-ghoul. A trace of the  _Binge Eater_.

"You're going to work on that case with First Class Hirako's squad as soon as Kaneki-kun comes back." Yoshitoki told him, straight to the point and Koori pursed his lips at this development, already expecting it.

"If this is what I think it is, then, as CCG's former coroner, what do you think would've pushed Kanou into experimentation of turning humans into ghouls?" He asked with a bit of dread as he thought of his timid partner who couldn't even speak without stuttering to strangers.

This deformed ghoul… could've easily been Kaneki, or  _anyone_. To think someone was doing this—

"As of now," Yoshitoki started as he avoided Koori's gaze. "Kanou's intentions are vague."

Koori didn't say anything. Yoshitoki hadn't exactly answered his question. He didn't point it out, though. He knew a dismissal about a subject when he heard it and he wasn't going to go against it especially if it was from a superior.

At least, not with the circumstances right now.

"The main reason behind forcing Kaneki to be an investigator…" He trailed off a bit uncertainly before forcing out the question that needed to be asked. "Is it to possibly combat Kanou's creations, then?"

The case was a test, he suddenly understood. A test specifically for Kaneki. Kanou had just challenged the CCG.

"Yes." Yoshitoki simply answers.

Koori didn't speak after that and wisely kept his current thoughts to himself. He didn't think voicing them out right now would do any good. But, he couldn't believe that he was involved in personally shaping a story that was a definite road for a tragic ending.

He knew that there might come a time when one half-ghoul wouldn't be enough.

**~o~**

Nagachika Hideyoshi went through his normal routine with the mechanical efficiency of a slug.

Get up from his bed, comb a hand through his unruly blonde locks, take a shower, brush his teeth, dress in whatever his hand grabbed from his cabinet, go to university, and silently stew in his own frustration. This was a feeling that Hide wasn't used to handling. But, it heavily sat within him since the disappearance of his best friend. The last time he had seen Kaneki, the other was blushing up to his ears as he described his dream girl to the blonde.

While he had been skeptical about his friend's chances, Hide remembered genuinely offering his support.

The last time he'd heard from him, Kaneki had been informing him about his dream bookstore date.

Hide had spent his day doing his own thing; going to the music store, surfing through the internet for some needed entertainment, hanging out with some friends from Kamii, and silently waiting for a text message or call from his best friend to be informed about how his date went.

What he hadn't expected was to be called on by the hospital to inform him of his best friend's accident. He had been on Kaneki's emergency contact list since the latter wouldn't certainly put his aunt's name and number down. Hide wouldn't even let him. Though, the moment he had arrived, he'd been kept out since, apparently, only family members were allowed. Especially when said patient had to go under a surgery.

That was the last he'd heard of Kaneki.

Because, the next few days that he'd demanded to be let in, he was promptly told that he wasn't allowed to see the other. Period. Well, what the hell? He just meant,  _what the hell?_  The surgery was over, Kaneki was supposed to be allowed some visitors by that point but the hospital refused to. Some snooping around told him that, apparently, Kaneki's doctor, the one who was called into controversy named Kanou Akihiro, had done something illegal to his best friend.

Hide had tried to locate the other within the hospital to no avail. Still, it wasn't until he had tried again, one last time, that he'd been told that his friend had been discharged. Now, that seemed suspicious on itself already. So, Hide had turned to news clips, those interviews, and even talk shows that featured Kanou for performing the transplant to get an idea of what had originally happened to Kaneki. An accident. So severe that it killed the girl and Kaneki needed a transplant. And Kanou was getting the fallout for saving his friend's life because he didn't have the consent of the girl's bereaved family.

But, he was missing something. Other than the fact that his best friend was nowhere to be found, the hospital had been oddly strict about the dark haired teen's stay there. Hide didn't understand. Searching for anything substantial about that girl too,  _Kamishiro Rize_ , came up blank as well. What had Kaneki gotten himself into? So many questions, little to no answers.

Going to the other's apartment proved to be no help either.

Especially since Kaneki hadn't even bothered going there after his "release". If he'd been even released in the first place. Hide didn't want to think of the worst case scenario. But Kaneki's sudden absence was admittedly unnerving.

The other just suddenly went missing on him.  _Just like that_.

Suddenly, going to the university seemed like a tedious task. Going through classes was a chore. And every day seemed too slow. Professors hadn't asked about his friend and Hide only found this strange when he realized that,  _fuck_ , they really hadn't, had they? Which was odd. When he approached one of Kaneki's instructors, Hide had been given the unwelcome surprise of knowing that Kaneki Ken had sent the university an advance notice that he would be dropping out of college.

When—

Out of options, he had even gone to Anteiku and asked about Rize.

"Rize?" The cute waitress, Kirishima Touka, had scrunched her face at the mention of the name as if she had tasted something foul. "What do you want with her?" She asked a bit testily and Hide warily shifted in place.

"Uh, you see, my friend went out with her more than a week ago." Hide played it off with a laugh. The way she had uttered the other girl's name told Hide that Kirishima had bad history with her. "So, can you tell me anything about her?" He asked with a suggestive wiggle of his brow, hoping that she'd buy his act and simply spill.

Her visible eye narrowed.

"There's nothing to tell." She merely said before promptly ignoring him in order to serve another customer.

Desperate, he grabbed her elbow impulsively.

"Please, my best friend's missing." He finally admitted as quietly as he could, watching as she stiffened at his hold. Though, when she looked at him over her shoulder, something dark flashed in her eye before she harshly pulled herself out of his grip.

"Rize's also been missing since she went out with that guy," She reluctantly told him as she grimaced. "If you know what's good for you, you shouldn't stick your nose into this—"

"Is she involved in something dangerous?" He questioned with wide eyes, mind whirring quickly at the implications.

The waitress appeared as if she hadn't intended for that to slip out.

"What Touka-chan meant to say, young man, is that you should go about this with more caution." An old man in the uniform cut in, features gentle and no traces of agitation in him unlike Touka. "Though, I'm afraid to say that she may be already dead." He continued quietly.

"What—" Touka stared the old man with equal surprise as Hide.

"So, you knew?" Hide inquired rather accusingly while the younger girl glared at him, having realized his ploy.

The man sighed at this.

"That couple mentioned in the accident a week ago. They were Rize and your friend, am I correct?" He asked instead as his face seemed to age suddenly while Hide slumped in defeat, finding no reason to lie by this point as he combed a hand through his hair.

Still, it didn't take him long to notice that this man knew too much. But, really, that was all over the news.

"Yes," He exhaled sharply as his hands reflexively clenched. "Supposedly, she's dead on arrival and Kaneki had to go through a surgery after that. He hasn't shown up since." The blonde left out the fact about the transplant, knowing that this old man already knew if he easily deduced that the ones involved in that accident were Rize and Kaneki. Still, he felt as if the man knew how her death was connected to his best friend's disappearance. The man appeared to be genuinely concerned but Hide was not one to take any chances when it came to his best friend.

Touka's face shifted into that one of bewildered shock, one that she immediately suppressed but Hide had been quick to file away.

"Are you sure that he just hasn't run away?" Touka demanded rather irritably as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Hide had considered that fact. Kaneki had been good at that. Still, there were still some things that didn't make sense. What could've happened that would push Kaneki into running away in the first place then? Traumatized over having his first girlfriend killed? Hardly. He'd already seen Kaneki when the boy's mother had died. Kaneki's first response had been to curl up with a book, cry himself to sleep, and act like everything was normal when it wasn't.

And, if it was guilt, how did Kanou's involvement made its way into all this? But, that could also be just the hospital trying to cover up Kanou's blunder and had wanted to erase away traces of this mistake. Including Kaneki. But, but,  _but_ —

Was Hide overthinking things? He didn't want to believe it.

"He could've." Hide breathed out slowly and avoided the girl's gaze. "He could've not. It still doesn't change the fact that he's missing."

After that, he remembered thanking the manager and apologizing to Touka for wasting her time. Still, all this time that Kaneki had been absent left a steady trickle of dread within Hide. And he didn't know what to do. With nothing to go on with, he had reluctantly went back to his normal routine of going to college and his studies, albeit half-heartedly, and proceeded to focus instead on what to say to his friend once he showed up.

_Where are you, Kaneki?_  He thought anxiously.  _Rabbits die when they get lonely, you know._

Still, everyday, without fail, he'd stopped by the hospital for news and have a nice cup of coffee in Anteiku before going home. The police, suspiciously enough, wouldn't even entertain his case of a missing person.

Some days, when he felt his worry increase without his consent, he would stop by Kaneki's place to see if he'd returned yet.

No such luck.

Though, today, when he had been on his way to class, his feet had unintentionally taken him to the route on the way to Kaneki's apartment. Hide thought that this might be his way of torturing himself, seeing as he hadn't been able to do anything with his friend missing. He just wanted him back, was that too much to ask?

So, when he had seen the dark haired guy walking in front of him, whether it had actually been Kaneki or not, Hide had reacted. By promptly dropping all his notes and books like a person who had seen a ghost.

And a very familiar ghost it was as the other turned around to face him.

"K-Kaneki?" He called out hesitantly as he took a step forward,  _he wasn't dreaming, right?_  "Is that you, man?"

Unlike in a dream, the person in front of him didn't disappear.

**~o~**

"Man, I haven't seen you in a month! A  _month_ , can you believe that?" Hide mused aloud, almost playfully, and Kaneki couldn't tell if the other was merely being sarcastic.

"Hide," He called out hesitantly.

He tried not to squirm in his seat. He didn't know if Hide was purposely doing this or not but, of all the places to have their coffee, it just had to be  _ **Anteiku**_. Kaneki had tried inviting Hide in his place but, remembering that he hadn't been there for a month and, thus, had nothing to serve his guest, he had tentatively asked the other if he'd wanted to have coffee, the only edible thing he could consume. Surprisingly enough, the blonde had been quick to agree and suggested Anteiku.

The familiar way that the guy with the bowtie behind the counter had greeted Hide told Kaneki that the blonde must've had frequented this place a great deal.

Still, this was the last place in his mind. Rize had been somewhat of a regular of this place before. He didn't know how to feel about sitting here and knowing that the past month had really happened. Not to mention, he wasn't exactly here for a reunion. But, he figured that he at least owed it to Hide to let him know that he was fine.

The way to Anteiku had been strangely riddled with silence.

One that Kaneki didn't know how to break and one that Hide had, Kaneki was slowly realizing, no intention of disturbing either. It was unnerving. And awkward. Though, it had to do a lot more with the fact that, after being surrounded by completely different people for the past month, it had been strange to be reunited with Hide once again. Not to mention, he was actually finding it weird to be dealing with normal routines once again after working on the office almost every day.

"Their coffee here is really good." Hide commented rather lightly, as if everything was perfectly normal, ignoring Kaneki's solemn gaze on him.

Deciding to go with Hide's approach, he smiled weakly.

"Is it?" He humored the blonde as he stared through the wide windows, eyes idly gazing down at the people passing by and he couldn't help but wonder if most of them were ghouls. And, to be honest, no one would know anything. Not even him.

"But, you already know that, right?" The blonde mused almost absentmindedly. "You used to go here almost every day just to see that dream girl of yours."

The comment was delivered matter-of-factly but it didn't fail to make Kaneki shiver at the indirect reference to Rize.

He needed to change the subject. Something that would, hopefully, steer away from awful memories of kagune lashing out in the air, piercing and  _scrambling his insides_ , and blood stained lips that grinned down at him  _hungrily_ —

"I'm quitting college, Hide." Kaneki abruptly spoke as his hands clenched on his lap, clasping the fabric of his pants.

"You know, you're really something else, Kaneki." Hide sighed as his expression finally fell from its jovial luster, revealing the stress and worry he must've held back for Kaneki's sake. "I've been worried, man,  _worried_. And the first meaningful thing you actually say to me is that you're quitting college. Isn't that a news for sore ears? No calls, no texts, no contact, no _anything_ — what do you want me to think?" The blonde stared at Kaneki grimly, gaze dark and exhausted.

Kaneki felt the guilt threatening to swallow him whole at that moment.

"I'm sorry." He murmured quietly as he lowered his gaze and stared at his hands, feeling the shame weighing heavily on his shoulders.

"A month." Hide repeated sternly. "That's how long you've been gone. That's how long you've scared your best friend who absolutely  _has no idea_  what happened to you. And your expression tells me that you're not gonna say anything about that either." He deduced far too accurately for Kaneki's peace of mind.

"I'm sorry, Hide, I can't." Kaneki replied softly, trying not to let the tremors to enter his voice.

Hide couldn't know. He couldn't. He couldn't know about the CCG or else he'd also know about Kaneki becoming a—

"You can't or you won't?" Hide inquired gently.

Kaneki swallowed and didn't say anything. He didn't picture his reunion with Hide to be this intense. But, he was just so  _selfish_. He didn't want to lie to Hide, he owed his best friend that much. But, he couldn't admit the truth either. So, he settled for keeping his silence. He closed his eyes as he tried not to think about the cold piercing gazes of those investigators,  _judging_ , and how he was being treated as a  _project_. Never mind that it might've been the only thing that let them keep him alive in the first place.

He didn't want to burden Hide with this. He just couldn't.

Excuses,  _excuses_. A voice sang in his mind mischievously and, for what he considered to be a moment of temporary insanity, it sounded a lot like Juuzou.

"Whatever you've been up to, is it the reason you're also wearing a suit?" Hide pondered thoughtfully with that familiar hint of playful lilt in his voice.

Kaneki's head snapped up just to see Hide grinning at him.

Why was the blonde so,  _so_ —

"Can I take your orders?" A quiet voice suddenly intervened and Kaneki looked to the side and tried not to recoil at the intimidating glare of the waitress. Her visible eye stared down at him darkly and there was something unreadable brewing in her gaze.

"I'll have a cappuccino, Touka-chan!" Hide responded brightly but Kaneki couldn't help but think that there was something sharp about Hide's gaze, none of the bubbly adoration that had threatened to kick them out of the shop before. "And put one of your cute latte arts, would you?" He winked impishly.

Touka merely gave Hide a nonplussed stare. Kaneki couldn't help but wonder what he'd missed. The waitress was nothing like the shy girl who had run away from his friend the last time he saw her.

Suddenly, he felt this deep heavy feeling. It felt surprisingly—  _lonely_  to know that he'd certainly missed a lot on what had occurred with Hide while he had been away. He wondered if this was what Hide was feeling right now.

"What about you?" The girl, Touka, inquired a bit rudely but Kaneki didn't really pay attention to it.

"B-Black coffee." He answered faintly, feeling oddly disheartened. "No sugar or cream."

"Right." Touka muttered under her breath and his gaze slid to her in question. If she noticed that she'd been heard, she made no mention of it. Kaneki didn't know if he admired that composure or not.

"Wow, you like it bitter, huh?" Hide remarked casually.

Kaneki tensed and missed the way Touka mirrored his action. He rubbed his chin in discomfort.

"I've just recently taken a liking to it." Kaneki answered uneasily.

Hide hummed contemplatively, eyes curious.

"What's up with that eyepatch?" The waitress suddenly demanded out of the blue and Kaneki's eyes widened at the unpredictable question as he stared at her. At least, he wouldn't expect to receive such an inquiry from her, she didn't seem to be the type to take interest.

"I-It's from an accident—" Kaneki stammered, partly caught off guard and partly shaken as he was reminded of his eye.

"I see." She cut him off curtly before striding away.

Kaneki blinked owlishly, unable to decipher what had just happened. Looking at Hide for help, he saw the blonde merely staring after the dark haired waitress pensively, a frown marring his features and Kaneki swallowed  _hard_. It seemed that Hide had his own matters to occupy his time. He had really missed a lot.

But, maybe, it was for the best.

**~o~**

When Kaneki got back to his apartment, he didn't expect Amon Koutarou to be standing just by the door of his apartment.

"A-Amon-san—" Kaneki fumbled a bit, bewildered at the unexpected sight of the man.

"Mado-san told me to pick you up." Amon was quick to put in as his eyes narrowed, obviously displeased at having to do this in the first place and Kaneki tried not to shuffle his feet in embarrassment. "You've exceeded the time." He reminded rather tersely.

Looking at his watch, Kaneki's eyes widened as he realized that he hadn't even noticed how many hours had passed. It was almost dark.

How humiliating. No wonder Amon was annoyed at him.

He and Hide had parted on slightly somber terms. Kaneki knew that it was his fault and also recognized that Hide was troubled by his reticence regarding his disappearance. The blonde had every right to be. Kaneki wouldn't fault Hide if he was angry at him. But, he tried to reassure himself that it was for Hide's own good. He'd be better off not involved with the mess that Kaneki had gotten himself in. Not to mention, he still didn't think that he could take it if Hide had known and thought that Kaneki was a—

"I-I was with a friend. I apologize." Kaneki bowed at Amon, hoping that this misconduct could be forgiven the first time.

Instead of the glare intensifying like he thought, Amon's expression became unreadable.

"A friend?" The man questioned faintly, slowly calming down from his frustration.

"My best friend." Kaneki absentmindedly corrected. "H-He's just been worried about me. I've disappeared for a month, after all." He mumbled under his breath as he recalled Hide's distressed expression when it became obvious that Kaneki wouldn't be revealing anything.

"What did you tell him?" Amon prodded as he passed by Kaneki, already striding down the stairs.

Kaneki followed him wordlessly.

"Nothing." He didn't know why he admitted that so easily to the man who was against his existence as a ghoul. But, the stress that had been bottling up ever since he came to be under CCG's custody was getting to him and his encounter with Hide hadn't exactly helped.

"Even the result of the transplant?" Amon's eyes narrowed at this.

_That you're now a half-ghoul_  was left unsaid but Kaneki heard it loud and clear nevertheless.

"Was it really wrong?" Kaneki just muttered, feeling himself hunch ever so slightly under Amon's indignant gaze as they paused in the middle of the sidewalk. "I just don't want him to think that I'm a  _ **monster**_. Like you seem to do." He softly whispered, not missing the way the man stiffened at his accusation.

Amon remained silent.

Of course, what was Kaneki exactly expecting?  _Sympathy_? Understanding?

With that, he walked ahead of the other.

Meeting Hide really did wonders to his mood. Right now, he was just so  _tired_. Was Amon seriously going to scold him about this too? After all, the man was the prime example of how one's perspective changed upon the discovery of one's ghoul nature. He didn't want to think the worst of Hide but Amon had been so accommodating in the beginning, so ready to offer a helping hand until the man knew what he potentially was.

What exactly differentiated humans from ghouls? Sometimes, the answer had become blurred.

**~o~**

Obviously, after a few minutes had passed as they arrived back at the branch office in tensed silence, the severity of what he had just done dawned on Kaneki.

He couldn't believe that he had actually spoken out of turn to a superior. Kaneki didn't think that he had the confidence to do so. But, as proven sometime prior, he actually had the guts. Now, he didn't know how to take the last few minutes of his life back. He hadn't even started working with them yet, too. Though, to be honest, he had expected to be berated by Amon right after what he had just demonstrated.

Not to mention, he had also walked out on the other. Kaneki had never done this to anyone, not even to his aunt.

So, he couldn't tell if it was relieving or not when the man merely kept the distance between them, not uttering a single word. Certainly, part of it unnerved Kaneki but he couldn't seem to find the right opportunity to apologize. To his dismay, part of him didn't want to.

Instead of going inside an office or a conference room for a briefing, like Kaneki had expected, Amon had led him to the lower ground floor. Kaneki didn't need to ask since this was a standard in most of the CCG offices. The CCG had training rooms located there. It was where he and Koori sparred after all back at the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office. Still, his steps slowed as he contemplated why the man had brought him here. He didn't want to think of the worst case scenario. Not just yet.

Though, as they reached one of the rooms by the end of the hall, Kaneki tried not to shiver at the eerie silence.

Unlike in the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office, the 20th Ward's was obviously in desperate need of use for its training room. Kaneki couldn't help but wonder if the investigators here had gotten lax or the main office just couldn't spare their abled investigators as of the moment.

Without announcing his presence, Kaneki entered the room first. He saw Mado Kureo standing by the far wall across the door.

No, Kaneki realized a bit too late that the man wasn't merely standing. He was wielding what seemed to be a very long whip-like weapon. It appeared to be a spine which was tied together. He didn't have the time to be awed with the dancing weapon around the room because the edge of the weapon almost beheaded him. Thankfully, he had stumbled back in haste. Though, one of the spiky end had managed to leave a deep gash on his cheek.

He further staggered backward as a hand came up to cup his bleeding cheek, eyes wide with shock.

_Right now_ , he mused almost absentmindedly.  _Did he just try to_ _ **kill**_ _me?_

"Mado-san!" Amon sharply called out for the white haired man as he caught the still stunned Kaneki by the shoulders.

"Oh, I deeply apologize about that, Kaneki-kun." Mado instead addressed the teen as he skillfully flicked the weapon until it stirred back to his side, coiled around itself on the ground. "You surprised me is all. Amon-kun knows better than to disturb me when I'm currently in the process of exercising my quinque." He tilted his head at this as his eyes went past Kaneki to presumably stare at Amon.

Amon went rigid behind him and immediately released him.

"I was careless." The dark haired man gritted out.

"You were." Mado was quick to agree, blunt and to the point. "This isn't the way that I've wanted to introduce Kaneki-kun to his new quinque, though." He mused almost regretfully as he carefully set aside the spine-like weapon into a briefcase, his hold almost delicate.

Kaneki couldn't help but stare at the weapon. He tried to recall the way it twisted and thrashed around the spacious room earlier. And, it had easily wounded him. Knife and metal blades hadn't worked. He had already tried that. Still, it was a  _quinque_. One that, according to Doctor Chigyou, was made from a dead ghoul's kakuhou. He wasn't well-versed in the specifics of its production but just knowing that it was made from a ghoul, through their kagune, he couldn't help the cold chill that went down his spine.

Right now, to these people, he was a ghoul.

Kaneki had this fear ever since he discovered quinque that, one day, they'd make him into one when they no longer had any use for him. He wasn't exactly oblivious to that possibility and he wasn't going to delude himself that they had his best interests in mind.

Maybe it was the reason why he didn't want his kagune to manifest itself, despite Doctor Chigyou's wishes.

They told him he was a rinkaku. Just like  _Rize_ —

"Let me look at that," Amon's crisp voice suddenly pierced through the sudden haze that descended over him and Kaneki rather thoughtlessly brought his hand down in order to show his newly healed cheek to the man; the skin was smooth despite the drying blood that caked the side of his face.

"I-I'm fine." Kaneki responded shakily, already knowing the man's thoughts.

Amon pursed his lips.

"Of course." The man muttered under his breath.

Kaneki fought the urge to dig his fingers back into his cheek. The impulse was surprisingly strong. His healing had accelerated into that of a ghoul's. He should've known. Still, it would be easier if the wound itself didn't regenerate that fast. He didn't feel strong. Or infallible. It only reminded him that he was different from these people.

Ghoul. Human.  _Ghoul_ —

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Mado approached them, presenting a silver briefcase to them. Kaneki tried not to let his instincts take over that told him to step back. Mado wasn't going to kill him. He tried to reassure himself as he forced his apprehension away.

"Meet your first quinque, Kaneki-kun." Mado informed him gleefully, eyes alight in a way that Kaneki hadn't seen before. " _Kouhaku_."

The white haired man opened the briefcase.

**~o~**

"His smell… is odd." Touka stated quietly as she stood beside the manager behind the counter.

"What do you think, Touka-chan?" Yoshimura asked gently.

She pursed her lips. The teen had smelled strongly of Rize, in a way. But, how was that possible? When that blonde guy had mentioned that his friend had survived, Touka couldn't quite hide the shock to know that Rize was really dead and her meal had carried on. Days had passed and Touka had almost let herself believe that Nagachika Hideyoshi was waiting for someone who wouldn't come back. Because, that guy with the eyepatch was supposed to be dead.

Now, seeing him in the flash, she felt a certain dread within her.

Right now, her mind was berating her for not trying harder in finding out what was exactly under that eyepatch.

She needed to know.

"He's a human." She finally concluded before stomping into the employee longue.

So, why did he smell almost like a ghoul?

* * *

"Cry of Pain" (4)

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Let me tell you a few key differences on why Hide reacted differently from what some might expect. Some may say that, in the manga, Kaneki had disappeared for 6 months compared to a month above and Hide's reception to him was warmer. Well, that is, from what I see, because Hide is aware that Kaneki has been suffering as a half-ghoul all that time. When he could've made a difference by being more direct and honest to Kaneki about it, he had stepped back and let Kaneki decide when he will tell Hide. He joined the CCG to obviously rectify that.
> 
> Now, here, imagine worrying about your best friend whom you heard nothing of for the past month. Unlike Hide who can still come to Anteiku and be assured by Touka that Kaneki is just out there, missing, yes, but definitely doing things his own way, this Hide had no way of knowing what really happened to Kaneki and is severely held back by limited knowledge. His snooping around only brought him more questions and he doesn't know yet that Kaneki is a half-ghoul. Now, that best friend shows up out of the blue and Kaneki is being tight-lipped about everything. Not to mention, while I can easily imagine Hide pouncing on Kaneki, the reason he didn't force Kaneki to spill the beans, so to speak, is because he's afraid that he might only end up pushing the other away.
> 
> Still, that doesn't stop Hide from suspecting things.
> 
> While some are excited for Kaneki to come clean to Hide just because he's in CCG, I think this will still be Kaneki's initial response. Especially when he's treated more coldly for being what he was now.
> 
> Now, am going to slowly insert what I've created of my AU. Kanou had disappeared earlier from the grid and didn't have to thread as carefully and put up his facade since he's clearly in hiding with all the time in the world for all we know. I don't know if I got the other characters right but watch out for the start of the Fueguchi Arc next chapter. I've rewritten ideas again and again for this one since I can't seem to focus on one and kept thinking too deeply about it.
> 
> Thank you for the great reviews, I appreciate them. Updates from now on are going to be slow. Am gonna get back to work. -_-
> 
> ~Leeh


	5. Count the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The case is starting to head somewhere and Kaneki is having difficulties finding his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello wonderful reviewers! Am sorry it took so long to finish an update. I've been stuck at work for a while and needed to work overtime for the two weeks I've missed since I went out of the country with family. Also, I've written, deleted, rewritten, deleted, and rewrote some of things here in this chapter to make it move forward the way I wanted to. There are scenes here that I've solely gotten from the manga though.

* * *

"Are you sure that you don't want to order anything?" Nakajima Yasunori asked him quietly.

Kaneki jolted in his place at the sudden question.

"N-No," He mumbled, fingers tightening around the book that he had taken with him. "I'm not hungry." He reasoned out as he avoided the man's gaze. Though, staying inside the establishment did make him feel nauseous. The scent of dough cooking wasn't as disgusting but the longer he stayed inhaling the same smell for hours didn't quite sit well with him.

"Your loss," Nakajima shrugged before going back to eating his sandwich.

The dark haired teen resisted the urge to sigh.

Why was their target, _Number 721_ , taking so long in finishing her lunch? Though, that might be attributed to the fact that she spent most of her time chatting up with the workers than focusing on eating instead. Still, this wasn't a standard place to have lunch considering that they were at _Donut Masters_. She ate her food without any problems, from what he could see, but it was drilled into his head by Mado when he was ordered to assist in this part of the investigation that ghouls could blend in in human society for a reason.

They were good actors.

She could be faking her appreciation for the food's taste. If she really was, then Kaneki envied her skill of appearing normal.

"We might be at this for a couple of more hours," His colleague told him, obviously hinting at something. "You should grab a bite or two while we're still here." Nakajima advised him with a bit of concern lacing his voice this time.

"It's fine, Nakajima-san." Kaneki waved off with a laugh and hoped that it didn't sound as nervous as he was feeling. "It's just that I had a big breakfast this morning with that in mind."

"You ghoul investigators are really tough, huh?" The man mused rather wryly.

_I can't eat. Ican't—_

"Not really." He responded a bit uneasily.

A sound of someone squealing in delight caught their attention. Kaneki mentally sighed in relief at the disturbance that halted their conversation as they both discreetly watched their target singing praises to the server who had brought her a cup of hot coffee. _Black_ coffee.

This was going to be a long afternoon.

**~o~**

Kaneki ducked hastily as the sharp swing of the dark cylindrical club passed over his head.

He tried to make a swipe for the other as he boldly stepped closer with a quick, albeit a bit clumsy, spin of his staff. Though, to his dismay and nervousness, the man merely met his admittedly weak strike with a block of his forearm. While it wasn't as strong as he would've liked, the way his weapon had made contact with flesh unsettled him. It certainly didn't break any bone but that would certainly bruise later on.

His momentary lapse in concentration cost him as a sharp kick to his middle successfully knocked the breath out of him, making him stagger a few steps back.

Though, he found himself panicking at the sight of the same club going for his head.

As he effectively blocked the assault with his staff, he found himself, once again, at a severe _disadvantage_. His opponent's weapon was obviously designed to deliver heavy blows; ones that Kaneki could barely protect himself from. It was getting harder to ignore the more he strained against the other. Having no choice as his arms shook from the exertion, he finally decided to jump back to gain some much needed distance. His lips thinned as he met the narrowed teal eyes of his current adversary.

Looking at the steel rod that made up his quinque ( _Kouhaku,_ as Mado had called it, _Rank C: Koukaku_ ), he resolved what to do as his opponent once again swung his club-like weapon in a wide arc that was intended to maintain a certain gap between them. It wasn't what he hoped for but Kaneki took what he could. With a deft flick of his wrist, his staff disconnected into smaller poles that was connected by a thin steel cable that stretched and mostly resembled a chain by this point.

His weapon looked deceptively light with its plain appearance but it was surprisingly heavy in his hold.

Mado had said that the easiest way to master one's quinque was to pretty much get acquainted with it in battle because the CCG would only give the weapon's specifications and it was up to its wielder as how to master it. Because there were no katas, no forms, and no styles to pretty much depend on. Investigators only relied on their instincts and martial arts foundation. Especially if some quinque happened to have special qualities with them.

(" _Quinques are special,_ " Mado had told him with an almost secretive smile, his eyes bright with something feverish. " _Not only because they're basically made from a ghoul's kakuhou, but mostly due to the fact that they're one of the rare things that could harm ghouls. It's easier to connect with it in a battle than on practicing motions by yourself. Since in a battle, the knowledge that this weapon will be your sole protection from them will be ingrained much quicker. Of course, there's also this thing called relying too much—_ ")

Even if he'd already seen it once he had been handed this certain quinque, Kaneki couldn't help but be grudgingly awed as he replicated what he remembered of Mado's demonstration. With a sweep of his arm, he swung the chain-like weapon towards the club and watched as it spun to wrap around it in a tight grip.

Without hesitation, the dark haired teen immediately pulled it by the end handle and successfully yanked the weapon out of his opponent's reach.

Kaneki knew that this maneuver would never work next time seeing as he had caught the other off guard with this tactic. Not to mention, he knew that the man had noticed that his move had exactly been like Mado's execution.

While he inwardly applauded himself for successfully disarming his opponent, this momentary distraction made him forget that the other was capable of other feats as well; particularly, close range fighting.

It was as if Koori's teachings had flown out the proverbial window because Kaneki hadn't been able to defend himself as he was elbowed in the kidney and his own weapon was slapped out of his hands. The next thing he knew, a hand had grabbed his wrist and he was swung so abruptly over a shoulder as if he weighed nothing. Suddenly, he was on the ground face-first, arms twisted behind his back, and his opponent breathing heavily as he sat on the teen's back.

All in a matter of seconds.

Still, he couldn't help it. The man was just _too fast_. A thought that Koori would no doubt reprimand him for.

"You let your guard down." Amon Koutarou lectured him, obviously trying to get his breathing in order as he tightened his grip on Kaneki's wrists. "It isn't victory until your enemy is down for the count." He further went on, voice low with an undertone that told the teen just what _down_ exactly meant.

Kaneki merely gave a pained grunt, trying to extract himself from the hold to no avail. His side was still throbbing from where the man had elbowed him earlier.

"You're easily distracted, Kaneki-kun." Mado remarked as he stepped towards them from where he'd been observing their spar from a corner.

_I'm still not used to fighting with a weapon_ , Kaneki mentally reasoned out to himself as he shifted uncomfortably. _From whose ghoul's kagune was that quinque made of?_ No, **_who_** _?_ He vaguely thought with a mix of distant horror and wonder. When in the middle of a fight, it was easy to forget just what he really held in his hands. But, this thought had never left his mind every time he had to use his weapon.

"I-I'm still getting used to fighting," He mumbled out almost uncertainly, sighing in relief as the pressure from his back finally disappeared.

"Well," Mado hummed as Kaneki stood up on wobbly legs. "That just _won't_ do." His lips thinned in obvious disapproval.

"You need to work on your footing," Amon put in stoically as he wiped his face with a towel. "Also, keep a level head on your shoulders. Don't panic at the first signs of attack. You've got good instincts but use them properly." His rumbling voice washed over Kaneki's ears, leaving the teen in a state of slight bewilderment.

_Did he just—?_

He was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of Amon gathering his quinque before the man passed by him without another word.

Kaneki wordlessly watched as the man exited the training room with hollow eyes.

"For now, you have the rest of the afternoon to yourself." Mado told him as he followed after his dark haired partner. "Later this evening, there will be a debriefing with regards to the case, so make it certain to be present. We will fix this ourselves, if need be." The man quietly stated as he exited the room.

The teen frowned as he remembered that whatever had been the result of the man's meeting with the Branch Director, he knew that both of the higher rank investigators hadn't been pleased. The tension of their arrival hadn't exactly escaped his notice, especially when Mado and Amon weren't even trying to be subtle about it. In fact, even the friendly Kusaba had been a bit nervous towards him since the ordeal.

His eyes shifted to his discarded quinque on the floor.

_Was it really alright to be here?_

**~o~**

"Are you sure?" Kusaba asked him for what must've been the hundredth time.

Kaneki forced a smile.

"I'm fine, Kusaba-san." He replied with a slight inclination of his head, trying to force down the nausea at the thought of _food_. "I want to visit the bookstore near Kamii, anyway. There's something that I wanted to check…" He trailed off as soon as he saw the knowing glint in Nakajima's eyes.

"You and your books." The taller man shook his head exasperatedly.

Despite himself, Kaneki felt the blush that warmed his cheeks. He wasn't exactly trying to be an introvert within the office but with apprehension always coiling within his gut at the thought of interacting with anyone, he hadn't really been sociable. To keep himself occupied, he had taken to bringing some of his books with him in the office. Amon had looked at his _distraction_ with a sort of distaste for a colleague who was slacking off while Mado didn't bat an eyelash.

Though, the point was, it hadn't taken long for his co-workers to deduce that he was a first-class bookworm.

"W-Well, if you're sure," Kusaba hesitated.

Kaneki squashed the guilt that threatened to surface at the dismayed countenance of the other.

"Maybe next time, Kusaba-san." He hedged in quietly although he tried not to blanch at what he had just offered and the potential disaster just waiting to happen due to it. He hadn't practiced eating human food, at least passable enough to appear normally consuming it. After all, none of his co-workers had ever seen him eat and that thought was making him nervous. Though, looking at Kusaba who straightened with a hopeful gleam in his eyes made his resistance waver slowly, until it crumbled into something he was certain that he would regret later.

Still, these two were the ones who actively tried to talk to him despite his rather reticent attitude. His superiors hadn't really improved his situation either.

Though, it might also have something to do with how Amon had blown of Kusaba's offer a bit harshly than intended last time. Mado, as a rule, intimidated other people without really trying. So, Kaneki had been the 'easiest to approach', so to speak.

"I'll be going then." Kaneki sketched a slight bow towards the other two who returned his gesture before they parted ways.

Ever since that encounter with Hide and realizing that he had just effectively shut the other out, Kaneki's only solace had been his books. Even Juuzou's occasional texts that told him of his ever increasing debt of sweets to the other wasn't enough to snap him out of his desolate mood. Sometimes, the urge to run away would hit him. It wouldn't matter if they tracked him down eventually but he just wanted _to get away_.

Maybe it was the pressure of being in an actual case as opposed to the somewhat tranquil routine he had built for himself back at the 4th Ward CCG Branch Office but Kaneki found himself on edge all the time. Perhaps, it was paranoia taking over or his ghoul instincts telling him that he was in enemy territory. Because, despite knowing that CCG had taken him in, he knew the fine line that he was toeing when he agreed to work for them.

Just one wrong _misstep_ —

He didn't want to think about it. He _couldn't_ think about it.

After a rather long walk towards the bookstore just a block away from his former campus, it was _true_ that there was something he wanted to check on. His possessions, after the accident, hadn't been salvageable. He tried not to grimace as he was reminded how much of his blood had stained. Despite the repulsive memories that came to mind, Kaneki wanted to see if the bookstore still had a stock of _The Black Goat's Egg_ by Takatsuki Sen.

His copy was too soiled and damaged to be recovered and Rize's belongings, which included her own copy, were seized by the CCG.

Even before meeting the ghoul, Kaneki had already been fond of that book.

He just wanted the comfort that he hadn't let Rize ruin everything. His life was pretty much in tatters by this point, having no control over it ever since the nightmare that was supposed to be one of his happiest had occurred. So, he wanted to cling to this last hope that Rize hadn't destroyed what he viewed to be his last branch of support. His books. If he couldn't even bring himself to open and read something he once enjoyed, then it wouldn't matter.

Browsing the shelves brought a sense of nostalgia within him.

Even just tracing the spines of the numerous tomes calmed him as he took his time in perusing through the selections. The scent of paper, new and old, made him smile as he reflected on the last time he had simply relished in taking his time as he chose what next novel he would dedicate his time to.

Kaneki wasn't exactly aware how long he'd been wandering around but by the time he found what he'd been looking for, he had pretty much composed himself into a somewhat relaxed state. So, it hadn't really registered until he was grabbing what looked like to be the last copy of The Black Goat's Egg. For a moment, he had just stared and visualize the splotches of red on the cover and the blooming red across the pages as Rize pulled out the kagune she had impaled him with—

In the blink of an eye, he was looking at a normal copy of the book once again.

As if entranced, Kaneki found himself walking towards the direction of the register in order to make his purchase.

He just hadn't expected the small hurdle that impeded him.

"A-Ah, I'm sorry!"

**~o~**

Fueguchi Hinami tightly held her mother's hand as they walked through the crowded streets.

She hummed under her breath and even allowed herself to swing their intertwined hands slightly while she tightened her arm around her precious book. Her mother had allowed her request to purchase a new book seeing as she was having an extremely hard time reading some of the kanji of her old one. She appreciated it very much considering how the past few months had been hard for the both of them ever since her father died.

Food was severely limited and they needed to go into hiding for a while before they were able to travel back to Anteiku at the 20th Ward.

Her mother was strong and had supported the both of them but even Hinami could tell that the woman was barely holding it together. She tried to lighten her mother's burden by carefully not bringing up her father's absence, not voicing any complaint about their rather poor conditions, using her keen senses into better avoiding trails after them and just _coping_. Still, this moment of reprieve was cherished for the both of them.

Anteiku was nice. The people there were nice. She had especially missed Touka.

But, it just wasn't the same. Because depending on them, no matter how much it made Hinami feel much safer, cared for, it wouldn't remove the fact that they were still ghouls and the world wasn't fair. She didn't want to involve them if the time ever came. Hinami knew that her mother was of the same mindset. They didn't want more deaths after them. Not since after her father. She didn't want to one day know that more people died and it was all because of her.

"Do you know what you want to buy yet, Hinami?" Her mother, Ryouko, asked her gently as she squeezed the younger brunette's hand.

Hinami shook her head slightly.

"I-I'm not yet sure." She quietly replied, eyes darting around them since she couldn't remember the last time they had been able to appreciate their surroundings like this. It had been with some reluctance on the manager's part about letting them out on their own but her mother had been strangely persistent today. They had reached a compromise that Yomo would fetch them later in two hours.

To them, two hours was enough. Hinami was thankful.

"Why don't you have Touka-chan teach you a few kanji?" Ryouko suggested lightly as the bookstore came into view.

"I don't want to impose on onee-chan," She admitted in a rather subdued manner. "She's also studying too." Hinami pursed her lips at this thought, feeling a small bubble of envy at the thought of her older sister figure being able to attend school.

That sounded rather nice, she thought absently, if a bit sadly.

"I'm sure she won't mind." Her mother assured and smiled at her.

"Maybe," She allowed as she returned the smile despite the fact that she was still unconvinced regarding the matter.

Hinami tried to quell in her excitement as soon as they entered the bookstore. Hundreds of books were lined in several bookshelves and there were just _so many_! Her heart pounded loudly in her ears in obvious delight and her mother had to tighten her hold over her hand to prevent her from running off on her own. She had that habit whenever she was in a bookstore and directed an apologetic smile towards Ryouko.

Smiling exasperatedly, the woman relaxed her stance and slowly let go of the hand.

"It's alright," Ryouko gently told Hinami as she straightened her daughter's hair. "Pick a book that you like. I'll be waiting by the counter. Don't take too long. Remember, we only have two hours before Yomo-kun has to pick us up." The woman reminded a bit sternly.

Understanding the severity in her mother's words, Hinami nodded firmly.

With that, the woman gently pushed the girl towards the numerous shelves lined up in front of them. Hinami stumbled a little as she looked over her shoulder. Somehow, she was now a bit uncertain about leaving her mother alone. While this had been routine for them whenever Hinami wanted to buy a new book, it just didn't feel right at the moment. She bit her lip in a moment of indecision before she saw her mother's smiling visage urging her to go on.

Her mother trusted her.

Giving a small nod, she trotted towards the new novels. Though, after a while of perusing them and reading their synopsis, she just couldn't seem to decide on them. It took a while of browsing from fictions, to something historical, before she eventually drifted to the bookshelf sorted by their authors. At first, there was this author who wrote stories based on poems. At least from what she assumed. It didn't take her long to gravitate to a particular author.

Namely, the author of the current book she was holding, _Monochrome Rainbow_. She had enjoyed the short stories immensely.

Absorbed as she was, she hadn't notice the teen heading towards her until he bumped into her.

"A-Ah, I'm sorry!"

The apology was already out of her mouth before she could stop herself even if it was obvious that it was the other who was at fault.

Whatever stupor he had been in, he snapped out of it at the sound of her voice. Thankfully, the bump hadn't been strong enough to knock her down but it had been enough for her to drop her book down. He blinked slowly at her as if just sluggishly taking the situation in.

Then, he blinked again and seemed to be aware of what had just happened as his grey eye (the other was covered with a black eyepatch) gained more clarity.

"That's my fault," He gave her a small smile and, to Hinami, it looked so empty.

She clamped her mouth shut, though. While she had occasionally bumped into humans when looking for a new book, they usually just continued on their way after a quick apology. Something that Hinami was grateful for since she didn't know how to interact with them. Being faced with that challenge now, she wrung her hands nervously, unable to speak. Apprehension started to pool in her gut as she contemplated running to her mother when— his _scent_ hit her.

It was… odd. For the most part, he smelled like a human. But then, she would be hit by the tangy bitterness that she usually associated to ghouls. Just _which_ was he? She never came across a scent like his before. But, she wasn't quite sure if she should ask this question.

Preoccupied and confused as she was, she almost missed it when the older boy had crouched down to pick up her fallen book.

"'Monochrome Rainbow'?" He murmured in slight bewilderment before looking at her with wonder in his eye, giving life to his expression that was absent prior. "You read Takatsuki-san's works?" The teen questioned as something like excitement bubbled in his voice.

Hinami decided that she liked this better than the listless expression earlier.

Reluctantly, she nodded at him.

"That's impressive since the contents are quite difficult," He continued in that eager voice of his that it was harder to ignore since he continued rather impressively without pause. "But, this book is a collection of short stories so I wonder if it's moderately easier…? So, which stories do you like best? Mine would be that one on insanity, _Summer Diaries_ , or maybe even that comedic, _Resentments_." He looked at her enthusiastically.

Then, as if realizing just how forward and possibly presumptuous he came off, he deflated.

"I-I mean, you don't have to tell me—" His shoulders hunched slightly.

"K-Koyo…tokiame?" Hinami found herself answering uncertainly, biting her lip in anxiety. She wasn't certain if it was safe to interact with him, especially when she couldn't identify which side of the equation he actually fit. But, this was the first time that she had someone to talk to regarding her interest.

"Koyotokiame—" His brows suddenly furrowed before he brightened. To Hinami, the sight was positively brilliant. "Ohh… _Sayoshigure_! It's the prototype of _The Black Goat's Egg_. It's a bit scary but pretty good, right?" He smiled at her and, this time, there was life and it was beautiful.

Who was this strange boy?

"Prototype? Sayoshigure…" She murmured under her breath, repeating a few more times so she wouldn't forget. Before she knew it, she had crouched down in front of him and snatched her book out of his hands, already proceeding to specific pages. "How should I read… this?" She tried to keep the excitement out of her voice as she pointed to a kanji that had been giving her a hard time lately.

"Ajisai." He answered without hesitation.

"And this is… 'Antanoshi'?" She asked again.

"That's _Anrakushi_."

Happiness bubbled within her as he patiently answered her questions. Never mind the fact that they must've looked quite odd to other people, not that there were many to begin with, with both of them crouched on the floor and hunched over a book. It was surprisingly nice.

"This is… is Haku—" Hinami stumbled slightly, unsure.

"You read this as 'Hakuhyou', but," He paused before beaming at her and it made him look younger. "You can also read it as _Usurai_. That sounds prettier, doesn't it?"

Her eyes widened as she stared at this stranger. How bizarre. A boy finding a word pretty.

"Yeah…" She smiled at him as she stared at that kanji in a new light.

Then, suddenly, he looked at her before his gaze shifted to the book in his hand. She stared at him curiously. Having sensed no malice from him, she wasn't quite sure if she trusted him but he had proven himself to be nice. Hinami was rather sure that Touka would've liked him. Though, she squeaked in surprise when the book was thrust to her. Looking at the cover, she realized that it was _The Black Goat's Egg_.

"You said that you liked Sayoshigure," The teen murmured quietly, eyes softening. "Then you'll certainly love this book. It's the last copy." He told her as he stood up, pulling her up with him and she tried to ignore the warmth of his hand.

Though, she stiffened when she registered his words.

"L-Last?" She yelped in panic. "B-But—"

"It's fine." He patted her head and there was something strange in his expression. "I've already read the book. I just thought of buying it since I lost my copy. Take it, I feel much better when I get to share the excellence of Takatsuki-san's works."

Hinami knew that there was something more to that judging by the almost vacant look he had been wearing a while ago and it was fairly obvious that he was about to buy the book.

But, he was sincere (she certainly hoped so) and she reluctantly received the book.

"Thank you." She murmured quietly but with heartfelt gratitude.

She wished that all humans were like this (if he was). Maybe this was the reason why her older sister was trying harder to live with them.

Hinami could certainly live with this.

**~o~**

"Oi, Nagachika, what's with that stupid shitty look on your face?" A disinterested voice drawled out.

Hide snapped out of his stupor as he stared at his brunet senior, Nishio Nishiki. All he got in response was a raised eyebrow. The brunet had asked help from some of the members of the committee in organizing some files in the Pharmaceutical Department, mainly the laboratory he currently chose as his domain. And Hide had volunteered himself, simple as that. To be honest, he was already questioning that decision when the other did nothing but be the ungrateful person that he always was.

Of course, he had already expected that, having been acquainted with Nishio for quite some time.

_Still_ , the other could've at least shown a little appreciation. Geez.

"What are you talking about?" He asked curiously as he tilted his head.

"You have that stupid look on your face again." Nishio answered bluntly as propped an elbow on his desk and leaned his left cheek on his palm. "You've been like that ever since you stopped hanging out with that other brat. Don't tell me he finally decided to dump you?" He smirked at this, eyes narrowing in obvious amusement.

"You didn't have to put it that way." Hide grouched as he faced away from the brunet and slammed a thick medical textbook on the bookshelf harder than necessary. "Besides, Kaneki stopped going to college." He admitted with a deep frown.

His last meeting with Kaneki was— to put it lightly, _downright frustrating_.

The blonde knew that when his best friend decided to be tight-lipped about something, he would remain silent until the dark haired boy decided that he would tell. Pushing for answers that he desperately needed would only push Kaneki into clamming up further. He knew that Kaneki had his odd quirks from time to time but the teen whom he met after a month of separation was so strange. He didn't know if Kaneki even noticed the changes himself.

Ignoring the eyepatch and the sudden acquired taste for black coffee, Kaneki had sat throughout their reunion with his back straight. Judging by the stiffness of his shoulders, it was a recently ingrained habit. His best friend also couldn't meet his eyes directly. If Hide met his gaze, Kaneki's eyes would shift somewhere. It was abnormal to think about but the fear in those grey irises was directed at— **_Hide_**. The blonde had been sharp enough to recognize Kaneki's fear of being alone, of his aunt, of his first date, and making new friends.

But, never had it been towards himself.

Why would Kaneki fear him? He didn't understand and that was the most perturbing change.

He didn't want to take drastic measures. At least, not yet. But Hide couldn't see another option out of it when he suddenly understood that Kaneki might be trying to push him away. Maybe, it was time to take the matter into his own hands. Not to mention, what was the reason behind Kaneki quitting his studies? Judging from how his friend was dressed, it was fairly evident that the other had gotten himself involved in something _big_. Something that Hide needed to find out.

"So he fucking dumped you." Nishio concluded rather mercilessly with a yawn as he covered his mouth. "And what? Replaced you with a girl?" He droned on rather indifferently.

Hide sighed as he paused in his stacking of books. Sad as it was, he was already used to the brunet purposely viewing his relationship with Kaneki in that way. While it was funny in the beginning since he could just imagine Kaneki fervently denying it with a mortified face, it lost its appeal already since he couldn't ignore the fact that his best friend _had_ left him behind.

"You might as well say that." He murmured quietly, a bit apprehensive, since this all started when Kaneki went on that date. "He shouldn't have gone on that date with that Rize chick." He bit the inside of his cheek at the reminder of that purple haired girl. If he could just piece together her secret or what actually went on in the hospital, maybe he could deduce just what the hell was going on with his best friend.

"Run that by me again." Nishio's suddenly _interested_ voice pierced Hide's gloomy bubble.

"What?" Hide squinted at his senior suspiciously.

"Who did your friend date?" The brunet persisted, tone almost demanding.

"Rize…" The blonde answered slowly as he tried to process what had actually caught Nishio's attention. "Why? Do you know her?" He questioned as casually as he could and watched Nishio frown at the name, obviously having recognized it.

It was a bit unnerving considering that the girl was already dead. It was in the news after all.

"You… could say that." Nishio hummed, an unreadable look on his face.

**~o~**

Kaneki fidgeted in his seat as the debriefing started a few minutes ago.

They were currently situated by the lounge area as per Mado's suggestion. It was to review the information that they had gathered after tailing their respective targets the past few days. It hadn't been an easy experience. Not only had he been worrying over observing Number 721, Kaneki had also been conscious of his actions around Nakajima. It didn't help that they always had to follow their target at strange food establishments by noon and Kaneki had already exhausted his usual excuse of having huge meals before their arrangement.

He listened as Amon read the observations of their targets. Number 720 and 722 apparently hadn't done anything suspicious. While with Number 721, Kaneki already knew firsthand since he was the one who had observed the woman. All of these people they had been keeping tabs on were one of the few women who had just recently moved to the 20th Ward with their respective daughters. Of course, a lot of people come and go but these were the ones who were suspected of suspicious backgrounds.

"What about Number 723?" Mado suddenly interjected.

He saw Kusaba straighten himself at the sudden attention.

"Ah… yes," The bespectacled man answered a bit anxiously. "The suspect used the train and got off at the fifth station, transferred, and then headed towards Site B. I lost sight of her for a moment but later rediscovered her in front of a 'stone monument-like' thing at documented Site C. After staying for ten or so minutes, the target began travelling on foot before meeting an acquaintance to ride back with him to her home." Kusaba's voice didn't waver but Kaneki could see the nervous twitch of his hands.

"The license plate number?" Amon questioned brusquely.

"I'm sorry but I wasn't able to take it down—" The other reasoned out, sweating.

"If it turns out that the items at the grave have any relation to Ghoul Number 696," The dark haired man cut him off in a steely voice that frightened even Kaneki. "Then Number 723 will be confirmed to be a _ghoul_. Why didn't you go out of your way to conduct your investigation to the full extent?" Amon's eyes darkened at this.

Kaneki straightened at this as he looked at his superior with wide eyes.

_He couldn't be suggesting that—_

"That I should've dug out a grave? No way! That goes against my morals!" Kusaba protested a bit vehemently, pale white at what the other man had obviously implied. "The way those from the main office perform differ from what we do here." Kusaba's fists clenched in obvious distress while Nakajima looked grim.

" _Morals_?" Amon questioned, word heavily laced with sarcasm. "With that 'morality', we can't crush evil. We are _justice_. That is our _morality_."

Kaneki felt the blood drain out of his face as he heard the anger-laced words. This was the most uncomfortable he felt in Amon's presence. Clearly, the man considered ghouls to be evil. And Kaneki was halfway part of that. _He didn't have a choice._ Despite the formal pleasantries, there was a strain between them. Ever since he had talked back to the man, their relationship hadn't really made any progress and it was Mado who always had to force them to interact with each other.

He hadn't known the extent of Amon's hatred for ghouls. It was now clear that the man had held all of those resentment back from lashing out at Kaneki.

"What do you think, Kaneki-kun?" Mado's voice reached his ears and he shrunk at their stares; particularly, Amon's glaring eyes. Though, Mado was staring at him speculatively, expectant, and Kaneki knew that it wasn't a simple matter of asking his opinion.

"U-Uhm—" He stumbled over himself awkwardly as he hastily picked up the folder that held the information they had on Number 723. "A-As long as we return it back to the way it used to, we can investigate the grave?" He answered hesitantly as Mado nodded, accepting, for now.

Kusaba appeared to still be unsettled by Kaneki's words and the teen didn't know the answer that would appease everybody.

"If there's nothing more to it, I'll personally apologize to Number 723 myself." Amon suddenly put in, face still impassive, but had lost its dark edges. While Kusaba still didn't look like he completely agreed, his shoulders lost some of its tension at Amon's promise.

If she were _human_ , that was.

With that plan in mind, Mado had briefed them some more into continuing tailing their targets and reminded them to watch out for anything amiss. While the investigation wasn't moving as quickly as the man would've liked, Mado had admitted that it took patience and the end result would always be worth it. Kaneki didn't know if he agreed but kept his silence for the most part as Mado dismissed them. While Kusaba and Nakajima bowed and went on their way, Amon and Mado remained standing.

For all his life that he had heard of ghouls, Kaneki simply thought of them to be monsters. He really did. He didn't know to what extent but he _did_. But he never felt superior to them. Right now, as one himself, he didn't know anymore. Was he a monster now? He didn't want to think so. He hadn't killed anyone to satisfy his hunger. That was the purpose of his contract with the CCG. But, right now, if he was honest with himself, he didn't really feel human either.

And he was just reminded once again that even humans were capable of cruelty. _Was he the only one who was seeing this?_

Suddenly, a photograph peeking out of the side of the folder caught Kaneki's attention. Curious despite the apprehension in his gut, he pulled it out in order to inspect it. It was a woman standing in front of what appeared to be a make-shift grade ( _Site C_ , he reminded himself). While the lighting was a bit dark, Kaneki could still make out her features. At first, Kaneki didn't understand it when his hand began to tremble.

Suddenly, the world seemed to come to a stop.

"Is everything fine, Kaneki-kun?" Mado called his attention and Kaneki yelped as he dropped the files in surprise, scattering the papers on the floor.

"A-Ah, yes, yes." He hurriedly assured the man as he crouched on the floor to hastily pick up the fallen documents. He lowered his head in order to avoid the man's gaze and reveal what he had just potentially discovered. He heard Amon make a derisive noise and deduced that the man wasn't the least bit impressed with his clumsiness.

"We'll wait for you at the lobby." The white haired man told him.

They didn't wait for his response as he heard their footsteps move further away from him until it faded into light tapping. As soon as they were out of his view, he slowed down his nervous frenzy and picked up the photograph once again. He bit his lip as the sudden horror he felt at the situation began to flood in. While he had only seen her in passing after giving his farewell to Hinami, the girl he had talked to earlier at the bookstore, there was no mistaking it.

This was Hinami's mother. A suspect of possibly being a ghoul. If she was, then that would mean _Hinami was as well_.

The world—

It didn't make sense anymore.

**~o~**

"…let's continue tomorrow," Mado waved at him as he began walking towards the exit. "Let Kaneki-kun know that I already went ahead and left. Good work today."

Amon took a step forward.

"M-Mado-san!" He called out to his partner who paused in order to stare at him over his shoulder.

"Yes, Amon-kun?" Mado responded with a curious lilt in his eyes.

"Do we…" He trailed off, unsure, before forging on ahead. "…really need to involve _him_ in this case?"

At that, Mado turned around in order to full face him. There was an unreadable expression on his face as he stared speculatively at Amon. Said man tried not to fidget under the stare as he was used to the man doing this whenever he was weighing the thought of what to tell his junior. He didn't even need to mention a name, Mado had already determined who he was referring to. After all, he wasn't exactly hiding his trepidation in dealing with the other.

"Are you really against his existence that much?" The white haired man tilted his head, voice casual.

"N-No, it's just that—" He stopped himself, unable to voice out his frustration since even he couldn't really understand it. He knew that it wasn't the teen's fault. If anything, he had gotten the short end of the stick. Amon knew what that felt like.

It's just that _he was a ghoul_. Artificial or not, it went against everything he worked hard for.

"You said it yourself, Amon-kun, our morality is being the justice ourselves." Mado reminded him of what he had just declared a while ago in the debriefing. "If you're willing to push past the boundaries to deliver your judgment, what's stopping the CCG from doing the same?" At this, he gave Amon a grim smile that didn't quite hide the grimace in his eyes. Still, the way Mado interacted with and treated Kaneki, he _still_ couldn't deduce the man's thoughts regarding the teen's involvement in all this.

At that, his superior continued his trek out of the agency, leaving Amon to his thoughts.

* * *

"Count the Stars" (5)

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, let me explain first about the process of Kaneki's thoughts and how he differed from Sasaki of TG:re since people might be asking, as Sasaki, he was like this or like that. Am not going to explain that based on the principle that Sasaki was basically a different person from Kaneki since it's clear that, while having differences, the core is still Kaneki. Unlike Kaneki, Sasaki didn't remember what it had been like to be human, having no memories and only knew to reject his ghoul side for what it stood for.
> 
> Here, Kaneki knew what it was like to be human and, thus, can actively tell the difference when he didn't start feeling human either despite working for the CCG against ghouls. While he was trying to be one, people wouldn't let him. This was what Koori meant that since Kaneki didn't know how to be a ghoul, he clung to his human side instead and, thus, an effective path to self-destruction. Though, it didn't mean that he sided with the ghouls either.
> 
> Am slowly trying to apply my version of events with regards to the Fueguchi Arc but it was surprisingly hard, though, I'll work on it. Hopefully, I get to update sooner since life is busy and college is starting to bug me again.
> 
> Thank you all for the wonderful support you've given this and am really glad. All of your comments are appreciated. Thank you very much!
> 
> ~Leeh

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post my other TG fandom stories. But, for now, enjoy this. I really like writing Mado Kureo, for some reason, he's a challenge to write, imo.


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